IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Dose modern technology make life more convenient or life was better when technology was simple?

#dose #technology #life
Nowadays
technology
 is upgrading which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people, claiming that it is beneficial while the
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
reject
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rejects
show examples
 the notion. The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the period of time. In my opinion, science is
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and
technology
 has made life more comfortable.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
my
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on my
show examples
 view
for
Change preposition
on
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favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
 the positive impact. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 and foremost
reason
 behind
this
 is that
technology
 is the word which derives new innovations which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 a country progressive, not only socially but
also
 economically. Considering the social aspect, which is the growing at the speed of light, it develops
relation
Replace the word
relationships
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 and
connect
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connects
show examples
 us with different kind of people all around the world. Another striking
benefits
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benefit
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 in
this
 regard
is
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are
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 that its
economical
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economic
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 progress
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is remarkable in many ways because
technology
 which promotes industries and new job opportunities will seek and results in employment which, increases per capita income. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
reason
 behind
this
 is that
technology
 has made life very fast, comfortable and highly organized. Exploring ahead, the main underlying
reason
 stems from the fact is that
technology
 is very beneficial for education in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 globe you can study from anywhere just you a device
connect
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connected
show examples
 with internet. Moving
further
 it is
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 that
technology
 has increased
lifespan
Correct article usage
the lifespan
show examples
 of a person by advancing in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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 field and hospitals,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 communication is making a world
more
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apply
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faster in transporting in any field. apart from the
reason
 mentioned
above
Add a comma
,above
show examples
 it is clearly stated that many are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 trend. To recapitulate in
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of science and
technology
 are needed to great
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 ignore.
Submitted by uv8818 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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