Nowadays people are spending more time in the workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this with your own experiences.

In the modern era,
people
are increasingly spending
time
at
work
apart from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Some
people
argue that it is beneficial to
being
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be
show examples
successful.
However
, others claim that there are drawbacks
staying
Change preposition
to staying
show examples
at
work
.
This
essay will enumerate why they support each side and suggest my opinion. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged that when
people
work
for a long
time
,
the
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their
show examples
standard of living would be increased. As
people
work
more, they can get more outcomes, thereby leading to buying commodities
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they need.
For example
, according to Maslow’s theory of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
needs, before
people
achieve basic needs, they cannot achieve emotional satisfaction. As the example clearly illustrates, staying at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
longer can be a key factor in the enhancement of living standards and satisfaction.
Moreover
, staying at
work
facilitates having more experiences in order to promote. Having relevant experiences that are valuable to a company can put one ahead of the game when applying for promotion.
Hence
, allocating
individual’s
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals’
show examples
time
to
work
is beneficial for their success.
On the other hand
, spending more
time
at
work
means using less
time
for exercise. The majority of
white collar
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white-collar
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workers spend most of
hours
Correct pronoun usage
their hours
show examples
on their chairs, and they suffer from a lack of
exercises
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exercise
show examples
. Not only can sedentary
work
bring about obesity, but it may
also
contribute to other major physical problems
such
as diabetes and heart diseases.
Additionally
, when they do not have proper leisure
time
at
home
, the interaction of family would be declined. Recent media in Korea reports that almost 20%
children
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of children
show examples
cannot spend enough
time
with their parents, and
therefore
they feel far from their parents.
Hence
,
people
should spend
time
at
home
rather than
work
. In conclusion, while I accept that spending
time
at
work
can sometimes be essential for outcomes and promotion, there is no doubt that it leads to health issues and decreased family relationships.
In addition
, I would point out that
work
proficiency would
be enhance
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be enhanced
show examples
when
people
have proper rest. A survey conducted by the Korean Labour Foundation has revealed that workers who have suitable free
time
at
home
concentrate on
work
better than others.
Therefore
, they should maintain
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
balance for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long run.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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