The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

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It is commonly believed by certain individuals that advertising how to prevent illness is more important than
eat
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eating
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medicine, and government should pay more attention and provide financial support for it. As far as I
concerned
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am concerned
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, both aspects are important but we do anxiety about
prevention
. I will discuss
reasons
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the reasons
show examples
below.
First
of all, it is necessary to
concern
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be concern
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the
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about the
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prevention
of health problems, for it can efficiently save treatment time and strongly decline economic pressure. Nowadays, it is
easily
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easy
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to hear from the newspapers and other social
Correct your spelling
media
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medias
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media
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that youth get
cancel
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cancelled
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because of
high
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highly
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stressful
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stress
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and unhealthy living
habit
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habits
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, youth can get a timely treatment schedule if they have the habit of physical examination per year.
Furthermore
,
take
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taking
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treatment timely
is
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apply
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not only means saving the life but
also
saving the money, because the price
medicine
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of medicine
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is highly increasing as we all know. It is no doubt that individuals with different kinds of habits and health
prevention
methods, so
that
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apply
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we need
government's
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the government's
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help that
tell
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tells
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us what are the correct actions and how to
do
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themdo
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. Take washing hands,
for instance
. After a long time
educating
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of educating
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and advertising in
kindergarden
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kindergarten
and primary school, each citizen
establish
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establishes
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a permanent habit to wash hands before each meal which highly drop
down
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apply
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the
exist
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existence
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of virus and extend people's life. In conclusion, I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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that government should promote the
prevention
of health problems through financial methods and administration approaches,
for example
,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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physical
Add an article
a physical
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check
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checks
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for free for each person each year, filming voluntary videos, etc. Arising people's interest in
healthy
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health
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is not only directly
benefit
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benefits
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their individuals, but
also
benefit
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benefits
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our society that declined the
happeness
Correct your spelling
happiness
of social medical problems and
extend
Correct subject-verb agreement
extends
show examples
people's age.
Submitted by lijialisally on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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