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Writing Samples
Band 5

Students leave highschool without learning how to manage money.Causes and solutions for this issues.

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These days, high
school
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 graduates are said to lack knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 personal
money
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 management.
This
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 issue stems from a lot of factors and it could be tackled by several solutions from both teachers and
parents
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. There are two main culprits leading to
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, the current educational system places an overemphasis on academic subjects
while
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 essential life skills, including personal financial management are being neglected. Students are familiar with answering theoretical questions yet feel like balancing their income and expenditure.
Additionally
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, most high
school
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 learners experience a carefree period of adolescence as their
parents
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 always free them from financial problems. They take their
parents
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’ material support for granted and lavish cash on unnecessary purchases. The overindulgence and overprotection from
parents
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 have made their children irresponsible
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 spending
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money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 they are offered effectively. In order to overcome these negative situations, several specific measures can be taken by both teachers and
parents
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.
Firstly
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, soft skills, especially payment managing lessons, should become a compulsory subject in the
school
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 curriculum, which would help equip learners with the knowledge and skills to manage their own personal
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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 when they leave
school
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 to enter the workforce.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 should spend time with their children teaching them how
money
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 is earned and used for either savings or expenses.
For example
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, one simple step for
parents
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 to start is teaching their offspring how to get by on their pocket
money
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 and expand into more serious household costs as their child grows up.
As a result
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, they will be aware of the importance of
money
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 and how their spending needs to be budgeted and managed to avoid debt problems later in life.
To sum up
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, it is undoubtedly clear that there are various reasons why students leave high
school
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 without acquiring the skill of managing their expenditures;
however
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, these matters can be dealt with owing to the cooperation of both
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers.

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, but there is room for improvement in transitioning between ideas and paragraphs.
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