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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #members
Communication
 between
members
have
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has
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 been crucial in maintaining strong bonds in a family. Nowadays, experts suggest that there is decreased interaction within
family
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the family
show examples
. As
evidence
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evidenced
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from
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by
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 the rising priority of
work
 and career and the advent of
computer
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computers
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 and technology in our everyday lives, I agree that the reduction in
communication
 between family
members
 is becoming more prevalent. The culprit of
this
 problem lies in modernization.
Industriali
Correct your spelling
Industrial
 zation of cities has brought about various changes, including
change
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changes
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 in
people
's
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
 and
preference
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preferences
show examples
. Previously,
majority
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the majority
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 of the society
were
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was
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 family-centred, where
people
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
large
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a large
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 amount of time with their families .
However
, with modernization,
people
 have grown to be more self-centred, with
shift
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a shift
the shift
show examples
 of priorities from family to
work
 and career development. A striking example would be the long hours
people
 spend at
work
 now, compared with decades ago. Research by
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University
Univeristy
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the Univeristy
show examples
 of Hong Kong revealed that over three-quarters of the population spend over eight hours at
work
 every day including weekends,
wheras
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whereas
 only less than half of the society spend similar hours at
work
 three decades ago. The longer time parents spend at
work
, the lesser time for them to chat and take care of their
offsprings
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offspring
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.
Consequently
,
communication
 within the family would be inevitably compromised.
Moreover
, the situation
is aggravate
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is aggravated
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 by
advancement
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advancements
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 in computer technology. Family
members
 are often too busy playing on the computer or roaming online
,
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apply
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 and gradually become negligent of their loved ones who live with them.
Furthermore
, crucial face-to-face interactions between family
members
 have drastically reduced, leading to
sense
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a sense
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 of loneliness and isolation. A good illustration would be my uncle Tim. He lives with his family, but only
communicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
communicates
show examples
 with them using online tools like Facebook and Whatsapp, and only talks to them once in a blue moon. To conclude,
interaction
Add an article
the interaction
show examples
 between family
members
 hsd dramatically reduced nowadays
as a result
 of modernization and
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of online technology. It is crucial that we should look into the crux of
this
 problem and introduce measures to avoid
further
communication
 breakdown in families.
Submitted by ichtsang on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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