Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree
It is true that electronic technology has an indispensable role to play in many realms of contemporary society.
Hence
, some people harbour a belief that using computers will affect children to have more drawbacks than benefits, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, I partially agree with the statement.
Initially
, the front and centre in its favour are that children's time management is affected by attracting content. Addicting online games and watching videos on youtube are salient examples. Moreover
, the wrong posture would cause some visual problems, such
as getting high myopia or having cataracts. Admittedly, there is a growing tendency that millennials nowadays to search for everything on the internet. Considering violent, bloody, and pornographic information, young people may easily contact this
inappropriate source with the
immature minds.
At the other end of the spectrum, Correct article usage
apply
such
as vital roles websites play in providing any resource on the internet. For instance
, when those kids font knows some things, as long as they turn on the computer and search it, they can find every details knowledge they want. These indicate that teenagers using computers indeed bring some positive influences.
In summary, despite the fact that broad and convenient information online has many demerits in the development of children, their merits must not be ignored. It is widely believed that every young child should use electronic
Add an article
the electronic
an electronic
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
in
the appropriate time and Change preposition
at
the
correct posture, in order to yield the greatest benefits.Change preposition
in the
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite