Successful sport professionals earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is true that famous
sportsperson
Fix the agreement mistake
sportspeople

It seems that sportsperson may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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achieve another level of success and status in comparison to
another specialised professionals
Replace the adjective
another specialised professional
other specialised professionals

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun professionals. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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. While some argue that their earnings are justifiable and others have a different viewpoint that other professions
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

deserve handsome income. To a certain extent, I totally opine that other fields should get the same level of status as a sportsperson get. On the one hand, supporters of the outrageous amount earned by renowned sports athletics
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject supporters. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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justified based on certain reasons. One of the major
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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is
rigurous
Correct your spelling
rigorous

If you don’t want rigurous to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

workouts and back-bending training these people undergo to become fit
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and to be able to participate in various competitions, while some to be champions.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Lionel Messi, a football player, earns over 100 million pounds a month. Another reason for their support
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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is the realisation that participation is not continuous and for a long time,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a huge sum paid is meant to be for a long time until
new
Add an article
a new
the new

The noun phrase new contract seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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contract is awarded. On other hand, I consider that
other
Change the wording
another

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun professional. Consider making a change.

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professional
is
Correct your spelling
in

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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other fields deserve a pay commensurate with their services.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

includes Doctors, Lawyers, Police-officers, Teachers and Engineers.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Doctors undergo
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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rigorous medical training over a period of at least 12 years. While doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they sacrifice pleasure to attain the peak of their career for the health of the nation.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Police Officers are law enforcement agents that oversee the security and safety of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, their duties, in my opinion, are much more important than the trophies that can be won. In conclusion, while people are varying in their opinions regarding the earnings of different professionals, I believe that individuals ought to deserve payments commensurate with their duties.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exceptional talent
  • dedication
  • entertainment value
  • revenue
  • ticket sales
  • advertisements
  • sponsorships
  • short-lived career
  • physical and mental challenges
  • compensation
  • limited career span
  • health risks
  • financial rewards
  • disproportionate emphasis
  • intellectual contributions
  • social contributions
  • undervaluing
  • societal perception
  • income distribution
  • valuable
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