IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many socieities, fashion is becoming more and more important in people's choice of clothes. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

choosing and buying clothes
depended
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on
fashion
Use synonyms
 is now becoming very decisive in some countries. Advertising and the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of some celebrities contribute to
this
Linking Words
 measure and I personally think the replacement of
fashion
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 personal likes is
originally
Add an article
an originally
show examples
 negative development because of money wasting and disappearing the
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
. In our daily lives, we saw a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 proportion of advertisements on television or social media.
Fashion
Use synonyms
 is a big part of advertisements and every day, all media are showing the
fashion
Use synonyms
chothes
Correct your spelling
clothes
 which the big companies of
fashion
Use synonyms
 concentrate just on selling their products from
this
Linking Words
 way. When
people
Use synonyms
 saw a man or woman who has
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 body wearing the
fashion
Use synonyms
 cloth, they
prompted
Add a missing verb
are prompted
show examples
 to buy that cloth when they are going
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping. In
this
Linking Words
 case,
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 stimulate
people
Use synonyms
 to choose a commodity that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not needed to buy. On other hand, celebrities
such
Linking Words
 as actors or musicians are obeying these
fashion
Use synonyms
 methods. They are well-known and a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 would be like them and due to that, their choices
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cloth buying
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 relay on the
celebrities
Change noun form
celebrity's
celebrities'
show examples
 clothes. In my opinion, following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 is a good example of consumerism. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
people
Use synonyms
 shop and buy just
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of
fashion
Use synonyms
 regardless of personal
tedency
Correct your spelling
tendency
. If you want to obey these methods you should go shopping every week because the
fashion
Use synonyms
 methods are changing immediately and it will
be deplete
Change the verb form
deplete
show examples
 your pocket. The
second
Linking Words
 reason for my opinion is the
dimminishing
Correct your spelling
diminishing
 of
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
.
fashion
Use synonyms
 clothes are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 and due to that all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stylish
Add an article
the stylish
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who obey the
fashion
Use synonyms
 look
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
very
Correct your spelling
similar
show examples
simular
Correct your spelling
similar
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
appearance
Correct article usage
the appearance
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 will be disappeared. In
conlcusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, if you want to save your money and become different and unique. you may watch TV or social media consciously. You should think and
then
Linking Words
 pay attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 an advertisement.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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