IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#student #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #waste #time
There had been
stress
 since humanity exists.
stress
 is now regarded as
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 problem of all
time
. some
people
 believe that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 more pressure on
people
 in old days. The only thing was they did not know how to
discribe
Correct your spelling
describe
 it as
stress
.
However
, others believe that
people
 suffer from
stress
 more than
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
 other
time
. it has
accepted
Add a missing verb
been accepted
show examples
 that
stress
 causes so many diseases. that indicates that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
pressuer
Correct your spelling
pressure
pressures
 on humanity than ever. The world is getting crowded and crowded. Eventually, there are not enough job vacancies for everyone. The race in
Add an article
the work
show examples
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 is much
serious
Correct quantifier usage
more serious
show examples
 and crucial than old days. The
way
 how we all earn money is mostly depending on how
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 we are. That hard work puts so much pressure on
people
.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
 that race, city
life
, itself is
also
 so
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
. Especially traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
,
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
 and light pollution
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
people
 in bad ways. These are the improvements depending on technological inventions.
The
Correct article usage
Life
show examples
life
 would be easier but
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of these inventions are not good for human health. Technology provides us easier
life
 but the
way
 how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technoloh
Correct your spelling
technology
 badly
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 our health is approved by so many doctors. Even there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the diseases
Correct pronoun usage
that exists
show examples
exists
Correct subject-verb agreement
exist
show examples
 just because of
stress
. despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the city
life
, villages or towns are less
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 and
this
 might be the personal
chooise
Correct your spelling
choose
choice
. Yet
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
 ago, even cities weren't crowded at all.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
stress
 in
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
way
such
 as lack of food.
People
 at that
time
 didn't know how to describe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress
. They were
live
Change the form of the verb
living
show examples
 as a bigger family due to decrease their expenses and in that
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 they used to be
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to each other as a part of their family. That
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
boosted their
Correct your spelling
morale
show examples
moral
Correct your spelling
morale
show examples
 and cure their health.
Submitted by onayozge00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: