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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many children have trouble paying attention in class or concentrating on their school work. Why is this happening? How can this problem be solved?

#children #trouble #attention #class #school #work
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Today’s
schoolchildrenchildren
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren children
school children children
 overwhelmingly have many distractions from school work especially with the advances in technology and the
internet
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,
for example
Linking Words
, online games, social media and online videos. It is undeniable that technology and the
internet
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 have many benefits for
children
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 by giving them access to unlimited knowledge.
However
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, it can
also
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 cause addiction and other health problems. Education is one of the most important factors for
children
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 to grow and develop themselves. With good guidance and basic knowledge, offspring will grow up as
a qualified adults
Correct the article-noun agreement
a qualified adult
qualified adults
show examples
 in society. Nowadays, people including
children
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, benefit from
smartphones
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 and the
internet
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 in everyday life and it can be time-consuming, addictive and distracting from school work and social life.
Children
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 practice
smartphones
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 for both entertainment and studying and sometimes without caution, using too much for entertainment can cause trouble concentrating on schoolwork and class. In my opinion, limited usage of
smartphones
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 and the
internet
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 should be taught by parents.
Also
Linking Words
, offspring should learn how to manage their hour by themselves at a very young age. Using the
internet
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 for entertainment and relaxation,
for example
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, playing games, watching movies and chatting with friends should be within a limited time.
However
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, offspring should
also
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 prioritize studying and manage
day
Add an article
the day
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 to do other activities
such
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 as sports or socialize with friends as well. In conclusion,
smartphones
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 and the
internet
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 are the main problems for
children
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 having trouble in class and schoolwork, in my opinion. Even though
smartphones
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 and the
internet
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 can be beneficial and can support the learning process academically, they should be used with time-limited limits and caution.
Submitted by pearl12346 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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