IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

#countries #people #hours #effect
In many developing countries, youngsters tend to work longer hours in place of justifying their social bonding. There are two main aspects behind
this
, economical and cultural.
This
 phenomenon is neither sustainable for the individual nor leads to better growth in the country.
First
 of all, we focus on financial parameters for the person going through
this
. Because of urbanization, more and more teenagers want to live near the city centre.
This
 boildown to the high cost of living in the area.
As a result
, the individual works extended hours to cope with his needs and wants. On another hand, working longer hours have an undesirable impact on a person's mental and physical health.
For example
, a university in China found that almost 70 to 80 per cent of individuals get diagnosed with insomnia or even worst depression every year. Of course,
this
 situation will not yield a sustainable increase in the country's gross domestic product as the state needs to spend a lot on citizens' health
thereafter
. In conclusion, the world leaders should
also
 focus on a work-life balance environment in the society rather than only on an economical factors.
Submitted by rahulkthakar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: