In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #advertisers #amount #children #snacks #toys #goods #parents #object #pressure #information #advertisements

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Advertisements targeted on

children

Use synonyms

to make artificial wants to buy unnecessary things have an increasing rate in some regions. There is an opinion asserting that

this

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would bring an unfair situation to parents as their loved ones pester them to buy

such

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products

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. I personally completely agree with

this

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assertion on the basis of some compelling reasons.

To begin

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with, the

first

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reason is that youngsters have the illusion that everyone has free access to all material things. To illustrate

this

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vividly,

children

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have not yet learnt that things cost money and that money has to be earned. To put it another way, they are not familiar with the adulthood concepts

such

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as working for a salary.

That is

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to say, they are not aware of vital necessities including saving culture and are able to spend a big amount of money without even thinking about it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, advertisements targeted at young

children

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have to become limited or even banned in

such

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countries. Having said that,

moreover

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children

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are not able to differentiate between useful

products

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and those which are harmful. In fact, they do not think that some

products

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may be problematic to their health. A good illustration of

this

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is fast foods which include a high level of fat and sugar which will cause

Use synonyms

children

Replace the word

childhood

show examples

obesity. Indeed, both parents and the media have encouraged them to eat healthy food.

In addition

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, they have to be taught that not all

products

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that have been advertised are suitable for everyone. In conclusion, it is my firm conviction that since

children

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force the elderly to do whatever they want it should be illegal to target them in the advertisement.

This

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is mainly because they are not as mature as they should be and could not think properly.

Submitted by f_bakherad on Mon May 09 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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