In most countries, prison is the most common ~Solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it Could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary era, It has been a matter of worry because of the colossal
number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
crime
rates
in multiple countries. Controversy exists as to whether getting
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
education might prevent people from being offenders. I vehemently
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with the given statement
due to
the fact that it might reduce poverty and unemployment.
To begin
with. there are myriad reasons behind my agreement with
this
trend. The first and most prominent one is that practical
knowledge
would play a great role in order to reduce unemployment, which is the main reason behind most offences. To elucidate
further
, a higher
number
of employment will diminish the poverty in a country,
thus
the crime
rates
will be decreased dramatically.
For instance
, a survey conducted by ILO in 2015 in the UK
Concluded
Fix capitalization
concluded
show examples
that more than 43% of the inmates carried out crimes
as a result
of poverty.
Therefore
, it is inevitable that better education can be able to curb the crime
rates
. Is there any other reason behind my agreement ? Certainly, there are. Another paramount ground for my belief is that it will make them aware of different violations and laws, which might not be known to them. To decipher
this
, better
knowledge
would not only increase awareness among the masses but
also
provide them with enough
knowledge
regarding laws and punishments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
different crimes.
For example
, a large
number
of people do not have adequate
knowledge
about traffic rules,
hence
, they often
occur
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes like over-speeding and drunk driving.
Consequently
, proper learning should be provided to every individual as it is important to reduce the
number
of offenders.
To conclude
, in spite of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the fact that there might be other factors in order to prevent felonies, better learning is the most effective one because it reduces the unemployment and poor
rates
of a nation.
Nevertheless
, governments should focus on providing education to all the masses.
Submitted by md2020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt. It discusses the role of education in reducing crime, but needs to explore the opposing argument as well.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is somewhat disjointed and lacks coherence. Consider organizing the ideas into clearer paragraphs and using transition words for better cohesion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: