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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

Due to the competitive era of society and to gain a financially stable life,
people
Use synonyms
 in many nations are imparting their duties more than the prescribed office
hours
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.
However
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,
this
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 trend can adversely impact working individuals as they may have a lower level of bonding and understanding with their family and extra
working
Replace the word
work
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 can cause them many health issues.
To begin
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 with, the main reason why
people
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increase
Use synonyms
 the
time
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 of their overtime working is the competition in the society as everybody in the professional world has to achieve the given targets in the limited
time
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 so
this
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 may require some extra effort and extra working
hours
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also
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.
In addition
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 to it, if there is an
increase
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 in the extra working
hours
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,
people
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 can get financial benefits like overtime incentives and
this
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 may
increase
Use synonyms
 their promotion chances in future as well.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Oxford University in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2015 manifestly unveiled that 65% of
people
Use synonyms
 accepted that they had increased their working
hours
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 because they were able to get financial and promotional benefits from
this
Linking Words
 approach.
Consequently
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, if there is a considerable
increase
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 in the extra working
hours
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,
this
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 may be a reason to decrease bonds with their family members. To explain, when
people
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 start to spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 at work,
this
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 may decrease their family
time
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 and,
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
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 they become oblivious of the issues related to their family.
Hence
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,
this
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 can be a reason for fights in their family.
Moreover
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,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing longer
hours
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 working can affect negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the health of working individuals.
For example
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, working more than eight
hours
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 on computers can
increase
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 the chance of eyesight issues and back pain. To conclude, though
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 various countries, many
people
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 work for extra
hours
Use synonyms
 at offices for reasons like competition and financial gains,
this
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 trend brings along some negative impacts in terms of the lower level of bonding among their families and fitness.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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