IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

#countries #people #hours #effect
Due to the competitive era of society and to gain a financially stable life,
people
 in many nations are imparting their duties more than the prescribed office
hours
.
However
,
this
 trend can adversely impact working individuals as they may have a lower level of bonding and understanding with their family and extra
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 can cause them many health issues.
To begin
 with, the main reason why
people
increase
 the
time
 of their overtime working is the competition in the society as everybody in the professional world has to achieve the given targets in the limited
time
 so
this
 may require some extra effort and extra working
hours
also
.
In addition
 to it, if there is an
increase
 in the extra working
hours
,
people
 can get financial benefits like overtime incentives and
this
 may
increase
 their promotion chances in future as well.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Oxford University in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2015 manifestly unveiled that 65% of
people
 accepted that they had increased their working
hours
 because they were able to get financial and promotional benefits from
this
 approach.
Consequently
, if there is a considerable
increase
 in the extra working
hours
,
this
 may be a reason to decrease bonds with their family members. To explain, when
people
 start to spend a lot of
time
 at work,
this
 may decrease their family
time
 and,
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 they become oblivious of the issues related to their family.
Hence
,
this
 can be a reason for fights in their family.
Moreover
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing longer
hours
 working can affect negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the health of working individuals.
For example
, working more than eight
hours
 on computers can
increase
 the chance of eyesight issues and back pain. To conclude, though
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 various countries, many
people
 work for extra
hours
 at offices for reasons like competition and financial gains,
this
 trend brings along some negative impacts in terms of the lower level of bonding among their families and fitness.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: