IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern Technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think they are disadvantage to relying too much on technology.

Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of utilizing modern machines in our daily activities.
However
Linking Words
, there are concerns that
this
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed our approach to
work
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,in as much as it has its numerous benefits,there are still some drawbacks when we depend on them.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the importance of making
use
Use synonyms
 of computers in our day to day activities cannot be overemphasized. It makes
work
Use synonyms
 easier,and neat. It reduces the likelihood of making errors and even enhances speedy and good results.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it increases production. Take
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, some companies that deals with book production, cannot really run their enterprise without computers because they tend to do a lot
editing
Change preposition
of editing
show examples
 and corrections that
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 to come up with quality results. These cannot really be done manually because it tends to
energy consuming
Add a hyphen
energy-consuming
show examples
 and boring with the
end point
Correct your spelling
endpoint
show examples
 being low productivity. Moreso, Making
use
Use synonyms
 of modern appliances like washing machine at home,makes the laundry
work
Use synonyms
 easier,faster and neater and alit can be washed within a short while unlike when it's being done manually.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, whatever that have advantages tends to have
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 drawbacks as well. Depending so much on technology has created mayhaps in the society. The youths nowadays
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become lazy and unproductive due to too much reliance on technology It has
also
Linking Words
 gotten to a stage where they have to be
coarsed
Correct your spelling
coarse
coated
 to do some of their daily activities manually without making
use
Use synonyms
 of modern gadgets.
Recent
Add an article
A recent
show examples
 study that was carried out
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 November 2021 by
women
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
 wing recorded that about 1.2 million youths are out of
work
Use synonyms
 because their employer does some of the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 that can originally be done by
Add an article
a human
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 with their machines and finds no
use
Use synonyms
 for human beings again and these has
also
Linking Words
 contributed to incessant crimes in our society as they tend to have more than enough time to engage into them. To conclude,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of modern technology in our daily
life's
Change noun form
lives
show examples
 can't be overemphasized but I am of the opinion that,we should not rely so much on them due to the laziness and unproductive life it has created in the life of people.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: