IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe art class such as painting and drawing should be made compulsory at high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals may assert that it is mandatory for high
school
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students
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 to have an
art
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subject
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 at
school
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 aspects of the
art
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class
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 and will explain my support with an example.
First
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 of all,
art
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subject
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 should be compulsory as it allows
students
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 to have better feelings. It is well known that a plethora of teenagers is having interpersonal
conflict
Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
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 with their buddies, but they can’t find a place to seek counsel.
For example
Linking Words
, by expressing their thoughts and feelings while having an
art
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class
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 at
school
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps them not only to
lifts
Wrong verb form
lift
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 their mood but
also
Linking Words
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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relieve stress. All in all, it is clear that
art
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 is a vital
class
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 that all
students
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 need to have because it helps them to alleviate stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having an
art
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class
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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mandatory can assist
students
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 to find their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 easily. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
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 world are mainly focusing on traditional subjects
such
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 as Math, English, and
such
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.
This
Linking Words
 action may lead to not giving opportunities to
students
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 to find their future job.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
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 may find their talent in
art
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 in the future and might have a tough time as they can’t change their occupations. It is essential for schools to encourage
students
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 to find a job that matches them. In short, all
students
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 have to attend an
art
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class
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as
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they can find their job as fast as possible. Overall, it is important for
students
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 to have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
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 as a compulsory
subject
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 as it can help
students
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 to have a better mood and encourage
students
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 to find their occupations faster. I believe
this
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 action should be taken faster as an
art
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subject
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 is important for all
students
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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