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Band 5.5

Some people believe art class such as painting and drawing should be made compulsory at high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #class #school
Some individuals may assert that it is mandatory for high
school
students
 to have an
art
subject
 at
school
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 aspects of the
art
class
 and will explain my support with an example.
First
 of all,
art
subject
 should be compulsory as it allows
students
 to have better feelings. It is well known that a plethora of teenagers is having interpersonal
conflict
Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
show examples
 with their buddies, but they can’t find a place to seek counsel.
For example
, by expressing their thoughts and feelings while having an
art
class
 at
school
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps them not only to
lifts
Wrong verb form
lift
show examples
 their mood but
also
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
relieve stress. All in all, it is clear that
art
 is a vital
class
 that all
students
 need to have because it helps them to alleviate stress.
Moreover
, having an
art
class
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mandatory can assist
students
 to find their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 easily. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 world are mainly focusing on traditional subjects
such
 as Math, English, and
such
.
This
 action may lead to not giving opportunities to
students
 to find their future job.
For instance
,
students
 may find their talent in
art
 in the future and might have a tough time as they can’t change their occupations. It is essential for schools to encourage
students
 to find a job that matches them. In short, all
students
 have to attend an
art
class
as
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they can find their job as fast as possible. Overall, it is important for
students
 to have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
 as a compulsory
subject
 as it can help
students
 to have a better mood and encourage
students
 to find their occupations faster. I believe
this
 action should be taken faster as an
art
subject
 is important for all
students
.
Submitted by anniebakkr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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