In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that work has an indispensable role to play in the context of anthropological history.

However

Linking Words

, more and more people have been working overtime nowadays. From my perspective, the phenomenon has already brought some negative

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain my viewpoints and reasons in detail in the ensuing paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in the modern world, the shortage of manpower due to the low birth rate, young

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

compete with each other fiercely.

For instance

Linking Words

, the candidate for a high-tech electronics industry needs a highly educated person who can speak multiple languages. Likely, it

also

Linking Words

offers an attractive salary.

Therefore

Linking Words

, once

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

entry

Replace the word

enter

show examples

this

Linking Words

company, you will be expected to do more things. Based on

such

Linking Words

compelling evidence, the situation,

this

Linking Words

kind of extended working hours with unreasonable company policy, often makes employees struggle with whether to quit.

Besides

Linking Words

the aforementioned,

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

generations are much more demanding of themselves than previous generations. Having

perfectionist

Correct article usage

a perfectionist

show examples

personality is

Change the article

show examples

silent example.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the number of patients who have physical and mental problems caused by stress and overwork are

raising

Correct your spelling

rising

show examples

rapidly in recent years. These indicate that using too much time for work indeed brings some drawbacks. In summary, despite the fact that working longer hours may

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

your diligent personality and outstanding

reseme

Correct your spelling

resume

, their demerits must not be ignored.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is imperative that

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

should regulate a strict

norm

Fix the agreement mistake

norms

show examples

to protect the health of citizens and reduce their pressure.

Submitted by a0111590317 on Mon May 09 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think High school graduate to travel or work for a period of time. Instead of going directly to study at university, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both a protest. Give reason for your answer in include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Most people think that students should take a break after the completion of their high school to travel or work and start their tertiary education. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this debate.
8
band
Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?
As the incorporation of technology and entertainment is beginning to advance, children and adolescents are spending a questionable amount of hours playing computer games. For this reason, numerous health professionals have expressed their concerns about the impacts it may have. This essay will assess the benefits and drawbacks of gaming on younger people as well as delve into how it can possibly enrich children's skills and temper with their perspective of the world at once.
5.5
band
In the future the main reason for going to the shopping malls will be for entertainment, not to shop because of e-commerce. Do you agree or disagree
In the future the main reason for going to the shopping malls will be for entertainment, not to shop because of e-commerce. Do you agree or disagree
6.5
band
There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Globalisation has certainly brought the world, people and businesses together. There are some people, who judge this progress. I completely agree, that globalisation has developed our world and has made it a whole big place and a market.
6.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
It is argued that many university students want to study other disciplines in addition to their main subject, while others believe that they should be focusing their time and attention on getting a qualification. While qualifications are good to secure good jobs, I believe the possibility of learning other subjects can create multi-discipline experts who are also paid highly.

In many countries, people are woking increasingly longer hours. What are reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative effect.

Word Count

Some people think High school graduate to travel or work for a period of time. Instead of going directly to study at university, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both a protest. Give reason for your answer in include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

In the future the main reason for going to the shopping malls will be for entertainment, not to shop because of e-commerce. Do you agree or disagree

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion