IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be change, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and given your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #change #actions
There is no doubt that both plants and
animals
 are suffering harmful
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of human behaviour. It is commonly believed by certain people that
such
tendency
Fix the agreement mistake
tendencies
show examples
 and
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 cannot
changed
Change the verb form
be changed
show examples
 by human actions, while others disagree.
However
, in my view, it is possible to change
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
, as long as we find the correct and accurate methods. It is admired that some results caused by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 have no chance
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
recovery
Replace the word
recover
show examples
, especially for the creature variety and species. People are crazy
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 hunting
high value
Add a hyphen
high-value
show examples
animals
 during the
last
 century, for the feather can sell
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 and the stone can be
design
Wrong verb form
designed
show examples
 as expensive
decoration
Fix the agreement mistake
decorations
show examples
, resulting
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
animals
 have in danger even no longer
existence
Replace the word
exists
show examples
 among the world,
such
 as the Gaoling Goat, which was the world-famous goat in the past and disappear due to
overcome
Change the verb form
overcoming
show examples
 hunting. From
this
, it is well-noticed that we should take
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 attitude towards
such
terrible
Correct article usage
a terrible
show examples
 situation and comprehensive review and recognize our mistakes.
On the other hand
, it
is remained
Change to the active voice
remains
has remained
show examples
 space and opportunity to practice some plants and
animals
, which are in danger. In my hometown, the city which with dry and heat weather during the whole year, the size of
grassland
Correct article usage
the grassland
show examples
 steadily declined as
the
Correct pronoun usage
it the
show examples
 affected by industry development and
terrify
Change the form of the verb
terrifying
show examples
 atmosphere.
However
, the situation has been changed and the grassland recovery again in our eye-sight for local
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 consistently promote planting trees and issuing regulations to limit the popularity of chemical industries within the location. It is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
show examples
 that some
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 difficulties can be resolved through efficient approaches. In conclusion,
although
 some rare
animals
 and species disappear and never come back, it is necessary to make
change
Add an article
the change
a change
show examples
 immediately and it really works. For individuals, it is easy to change
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 daily life via small changes,
such
 as turning off the light when
leave
Change the verb form
leaving
show examples
 home,
using
Correct word choice
and using
show examples
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycled
show examples
 materials
instead
 of plastic elements.
Furthermore
, it's now the time to cooperate together and make specific timeline
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
 to rescue our world, and it is the duty and capacity
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by lijialisally on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: