IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 contemporary era, some argue that
countries
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 should be independent in
food
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 production for all residents and not spend money on importing. It is an inevitable fact that
this
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 idea can lead to more poverty in some nations and a Lack of budget. I strongly disagree that governments
just
Verb problem
should just
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 focus on producing
food
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 for their societies.
To begin
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 with, export and
import
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 play influential roles in all
countries
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' economic conditions.
As a result
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, poor or war-torn
countries
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especially
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, especially
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 the ones which face
Correct article usage
a lacks
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lacks
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lack
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 of agricultural facilities
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such
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, such
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 as poor soil, insufficient water and dry
weather
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weather,
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 cannot produce high-quality crops and
food
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. So, all developed communities have to export a variety of
cuisine
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cuisines
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 to these kinds of
countries
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 and help them to combat poverty.
For example
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, in my country as a developing country, the government some years ago decided to
import
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 flour
for
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to
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backing
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bake
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 more bread because the rate of rain has been decreasing
since
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for
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 15 years
ago
Rephrase
apply
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and our farmers struggle with
this
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 problem.
Hence
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, the majority of
countries
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 do not have all
suitable
Correct article usage
the suitable
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 situations for making all kinds of
foodstuff
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foodstuffs
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.
Moreover
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, paying attention to money is vital and affects financial decisions. Authorities always have to assign the budget to significant needs. Making some productions can result in paying a huge amount of
money
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money,
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while
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 accessing them via
import
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 will be logical.
For instance
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, in Malaysia
after
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, after
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 10
years
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years,
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 when the government faced an insufficient budget decided to
import
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 some crops like wheat and barley
instead
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 of planting them.
Therefore
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, officials’ financial decisions can impact the quality of people’s lifestyles.
To sum up
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, it is argued by most people
believe
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apply
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that a country must produce its own
food
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 for the entire nation.
However
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, in my opinion, if governments try to find better ways for responding to people’s nutrition needs
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such
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, such
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 as importing, they will manage their economic difficulties easily.

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task response
Be clear on your view from the start. State if you agree or not and stick to it.
task response
Give reasons that are easy to follow and give examples that fit the topic.
structure
Put each idea in its own paragraph. Use intro, body, and conclusion in order.
coherence
Use linking words like first, also, but, for example to show the flow.
grammar
Check grammar and word form. Use plain words and correct articles and verbs.
lexical
Watch spelling of small words (baking, budget) and common phrases.
content
Use only facts and avoid wrong points about export vs import.
task
The essay shows a clear stance against only having home food production.
content
Some good use of examples to back ideas.
structure
There is a plan with introduction and conclusion.
coherence
Attempts to link ideas with words like 'for example' and 'therefore'.
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