Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society

The graph presents the data on the number of

times

the fast

food

eaten from 1975 to 2000 by Australian teenagers.

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning,

fish

and

chips

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the most popular followed by

pizza

and

hamburgers

. But in the following years,

times

eaten for

pizza

and

hamburgers

steadily rise with

times

eaten for

fish

and

chips

decrease sharply in the contrast. In 2000,

hamburgers

becomes the most popular

food

with

pizza

Change preposition

show examples

second

place.

Firstly

, from 1975 to 1980,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fish

and

chips

is around 90 per year for teenagers,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hamburgers

and

pizza

are

continuely

Correct your spelling

continually

growing and

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nearly 80 and 40 per year in 1980.

Moreover

, in the following decade,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten for

fish

and

chips

drop rapidly while

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

eaten for the other two fast

food

are steadily increasing. Around 1985,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten for hamburger intersects with

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten for

fish

and

chips

then

leave

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

behind. About five years later,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten for

pizza

does the same

for

Change preposition

show examples

times

eaten for

fish

and

chips

Lastly

, from 1990 to 2000, on one side,

times

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

eaten for

hamburgers

and

pizza

reach the peak at 100 and 80

seperately

Correct your spelling

separately

and remain. On the other side,

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

eaten for

fish

and

chips

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

still decreasing and

reach

Correct subject-verb agreement

reaches

show examples

hit the rock bottom at 40 in the end. To sum up,

australian

Change the capitalization

Australian

show examples

teenagers love

fish

Add the particle

to fish

show examples

and

chips

initially

, but they transfer their interest to

hamburgers

and

pizza

in the following years. Ultimately,

hamburgers

become the

food

they like the most, with

fish

and

chips

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

the least

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

Submitted by chengx on Wed May 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?
While some argue that parents should be primarily responsible for addressing childhood obesity, I believe that government intervention is crucial in managing this growing issue. This essay will elaborate on why government support is essential in combating childhood obesity.
4
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
These days,the trend of owning a business is gaining heights among people,instead of working for enterprises or for others.I concur with the view.In this essay,I will present the potential causes of this scenario and discuss the disadvantages of owning a business.
6.5
band
In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, owing to advanced technology, scientists are able to research any topic. It is argued by some people that investing money in researching new planets like Mars would be a great idea as ,in the future, there could be a chance to make home to other planets. However, I completely disagree with the given statement and will justify my reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.
5
band
As the result of tourisms and the incresing number of people traveling, there's an growing demand for more flights. What problems does it have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?
Rising demand of people travelling has affected a number of flights. However, the significant demand of flights might cause some environmental problems, such as air pollution which should be encountered by some solutions which will be examined in this essay.
6
band
If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them.
It is commonly argued that we must be obliged or compelled to look after our elderly family members who can no longer support themselves. While it seems a necessity, I do not agree with this idea for several reasons.

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the result of tourisms and the incresing number of people traveling, there's an growing demand for more flights. What problems does it have on the enviroment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them.