IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems- To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #country #language #problems-
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Whether
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Weather
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Whether
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children
 should be engaged with money is a
controversy
Replace the word
controversial
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 topic. Some people reckon that dealing with money too early is detrimental to
children
’s mental health, While others think it
have
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has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages. In the essay, I will discuss both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
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 and I think On the one hand,
Children
 who
used
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are used
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 to
working
Change the form of the verb
work
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 for payment are more likely to spend lots of energy on job tasks and do not have adequate time on academic subject matters.
Then
 they may fail the exam in school and lost the opportunity for tertiary education.
Moreover
, some heavy physical
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
 as moving and delivering may pose a threat to
children
’s growth, because they need more hours to sleep and their physical bodies cannot
work
 long times like adults.
On the other hand
, many people think working with payments is beneficial for
children
,
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apply
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 because they are likely to accumulate lots of working experiences, which is vital for their future working life and they can learn more practical skills.
For example
,
children
 can develop their communication and
team
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teamwork
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work
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workability
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ability
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abilities
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 by working in McDonald’s, because they have to talk with various customers and
work
 with other colleagues to prepare the food. In my opinion, there are lots of benefits for
children
 to
work
 and earn salaries.
children
 are more like to discover their personal interests and fulfil their potential through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different working experiences.
Then
 they can choose their
major
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majors
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 according to their interests and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more time
to study
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studying
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 it.
For instance
, through the working as cashiers,
children
 may find their potential
of
Change preposition
in
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 calculating, and
then
 choose accounting or finance as their major in their university
Submitted by hehuan1206 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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