IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility #individuals
It is argued that it is the
government
's responsibility to take action on evil avoidance while some
people
's opinion states that
people
 should know how to protect themselves from criminals. In
this
 essay, both mentioned views will be discussed. It is important that
government
 must focus on
this
 problem because it is related to
people
's daily life. the bureaucratic sector is the one which can issue prevention measures because of its authority. There is a long-term solution that the sector could advocate. One is to support the educational system.
This
 is crucial because when a good education is provided to children,
this
 simple solution could sustainably prevent those young
people
 from being bad
people
.
Hence
, it is important that the problem of the crime must be focused on by the
government
. Even though the ministry fully supports laws and penalties, in some situations,
people
 still need to protect themselves from unexpected situations. Sometimes, when the populaces walk during the nighttime, the cruel
people
 are likely to appear at any time.
Hence
, education on the methods of physical prevention by themselves is
also
 crucial.
Moreover
, the family institute profoundly plays a significant role in scandal avoidance because
this
 institute is the one which is able to teach
people
 since they were young. As mentioned,
this
 is
also
 a long-term solution for atrocity prevention.
Thus
,
people
 should know how to protect themselves from criminals and reduce crime. In conclusion, the
government
 should deliberately focus on the problem of evil because it is directly related to social life. ,
Also
 community should practice themselves from invasion because of unexpected situations.
Submitted by suppawich.p on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: