IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Today, in spite of the scientifically proven necessity of life-long learning, the idea that innate intelligence (thinking skills) is enough to have a successful life is dominating the minds of people. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #necessity #idea #intelligence #skills #life #minds #people #case
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Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that inherited natural intelligence is enough to have fortunate life despite the proven necessity of
life-long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
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 learning.
This
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 essay will
first
Linking Words
 suggest that the main problems caused by
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon are possible lack of qualified
personal
Replace the word
personnel
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 in future and rising of unintelligent
generation
Use synonyms
 and
then
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 argue that granting working places for educated people and proper promotion of academic life are
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 efficient ways of solution. If
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 part of
population
Add an article
the population
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 doesn’t regard big attention to tutoring,
only
Add an article
an only
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small
Correct article usage
a small
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 proportion of people will be well educated. Complicated professions which
claims
Change the verb form
claim
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 deep knowledge in some spheres will be vacant. It
also
Linking Words
 will cause the
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 of
unintelligent
Correct article usage
an unintelligent
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
.
Low
Add an article
The low
A low
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 value of schooling among
new
Correct article usage
the new
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generation
Use synonyms
 will result in their engagement in
education
Add an article
the education
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 process. Representatives of
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 will not study hard and according to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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of
Change preposition
by
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 Harvard, their brain development will be decelerated.
Essential
Add an article
An essential
The essential
show examples
 factor of not studying is being afraid that you will not work
on
Change preposition
in
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 your studied profession so granting relevant working places for senior students will motivate them to study what they want. Promotion of academic life means that fields of science will be
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
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 in order to engage children to study and help to find students sphere that will interest them.
Low
Add an article
The low
A low
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 attitude of
life-long
Correct article usage
the life-long
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 learning phenomenon is
valid
Add an article
a valid
the valid
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 problem nowadays which can cause problems
such
Linking Words
 as
deficiency
Correct article usage
the deficiency
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 of qualified masters and
‘mindless’
Correct article usage
the ‘mindless’
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generation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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