Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is often said that
children
should be sent to boarding schools
due to its huge benefits, whereas some people feel that this
is not an advisable decision. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss and give a concluding view now.
On the one hand, supporters of boarding schools
claim that students seem to learn to live more independently in such
places, as they have to take care of themselves in many aspects. In fact, this
could probably lead to them becoming increasingly self-reliant, which may be an
excellent preparation for youngsters before entering their adult lives. Remove the article
apply
However
, it must be said that many students appear to lack emotional supports
from their parents because they have to stay away from their families. Examples can be seen in many primary pupils living in boarding Fix the agreement mistake
support
schools
, who could feel cut-off
and Correct your spelling
cut off
stressful
, resulting in their academic underperformance.
Replace the word
stressed
On the other hand
, opponents of this
view point
out that there are two main advantages which only day Correct your spelling
viewpoint
schools
can provide. Firstly
, many kids have the needs
to join in various extracurricular activities Correct subject-verb agreement
need
such
as doing sports or playing musical instruments with the sole purpose of relaxing. It must be said that students may not be provided with such
activities if they are in boarding schools
. Secondly
, it seems vitally important for children
to learn patterns of behaviors
from their parents, as Change the spelling
behaviours
this
could be maximized by interactions among family members. This
can help kids to cultivate their civic sense,
so that they will become productive members of society later on.
In conclusion, it is logical to conclude that Remove the comma
apply
children
attending ordinary schools
may gain more advantages such
as having time to pursue their hobbies or developing proper behavioral
patterns compared to those who stay in boarding ones. It would appear that Change the spelling
behavioural
children
should only attend boarding schools
as long as they are interestedChange preposition
apply
in
.Correct pronoun usage
themin
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite