Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is very important for youngsters and it has negative impact on the people and society. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

#people #fashion #youngsters #impact #society

It is often argued that

fashion

plays a vital role in the life of today's youth and it has a negative

influence

on people and society. I completely agree with the notion that

fashion

has an adverse impact on individuals as well as the whole community.

Firstly

, in

this

modern, era people get very easily persuaded by the glamour world. Nowadays, everyone wants to look beautiful and trendy

although

, present statistics show that youngsters are the one who is most impacted.

This

directly has an

influence

on their academics. Definitely, if the young generation will concentrate more on their outlook, their studies will be hampered and they will score low grades in their respective universities.

This

will have

Change the article

show examples

adverse impact on the attainment of their future goals.

For instance

, in a study conducted on the popularity of brands

such

as Gucci, Levis, Adidas and American Eagle vs traditional clothes in India, the majority of the subjects were in favour of branded clothes rather than cultural costumes and more than half of individuals were youngsters.

Thus

, the young generation should be more encouraged in

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

or sports, so that they can have a bright future ahead.

Secondly

, it will definitely lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

more financial burden on parents as well as a negative impact on the children . Children are very vulnerable and they get well easily motivated. They always admire their older brother and sister as role models.

Therefore

this

kind of negative

influence

will leave a very bad impression on their mindset and

consequently

, they will

also

try to persuade their older siblings. Pertaining to

this

nowadays, in many high schools and universities in Korea students are not allowed to wear fashionable clothes or use trendy bags in

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

show examples

. It is mandatory for everyone to wear college uniforms so that there is no disparity between individuals.

Hence

, parents and elders should teach pupils the value of money and how they can become an inspiration for their siblings. In the conclusion, undoubtedly,

fashion

is very crucial for the young generation and I firmly believe that it has a negative

influence

on people and society. So it's the duty of the parents, teachers and elders to teach and motivate youngsters

for

Change preposition

apply

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not

getting

Change the verb form

to get

show examples

persuaded by

fashion

, rather they should concentrate more on their academics, sports and hobbies for a better future.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Thu May 12 2022

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for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

386 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is very important for youngsters and it has negative impact on the people and society. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is haveing a negative effect on children

Overseas visitors to three different areas in a european country between 1987 and 2007

It is sometimes said that social media friends are not real friends? Give out your opinion?

In several countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.