IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many major cities today are becoming bigger and more crowded. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?

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Nowadays, one of the major problems is
expansion
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an expansion
the expansion
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 of the
cities
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 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 increased
population
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will describe the various reasons which are responsible for
this
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 and what kind of measures could be taken to resolve
this
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 problem. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years,there has been a dramatic increase in
Use synonyms
population
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the population
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 of the urban areas,
thus
Linking Words
 leading to its expansion.One of the major reasons behind it is unemployment in the rural areas which
persuade
Correct subject-verb agreement
persuades
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 people to move to big
cities
Use synonyms
 in search of work.Other than
this
Linking Words
, birth rates are increasing annually contributing to
Correct article usage
the rise
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rise
Change the verb form
rising
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 in the
population
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
a
Change preposition
in a
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study
done
Add the auxiliary verb
was done
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 by National Health Survey in India there has been a peak in childbirth in the
last
Linking Words
 two years.
Thus
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
Government
Goverment
Correct article usage
the Goverment
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 of India has started a birth control programme which motivates and
educate
Correct subject-verb agreement
educates
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 the people regarding family planning. So, necessary measures should be taken to sort out
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of problems.
Neverthless
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Nevertheless
,
welfare
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the welfare
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 of a nation depends upon the cumulative efforts of both the government as well as its citizens. So, pertaining to
this
Linking Words
 government should take necessary steps
such
Linking Words
 as
construction
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the construction
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 of industries, power plants and many more in the villages, so that local inhabitants can get
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a job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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at
Change preposition
in
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 their respective places.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can earn money
at
Change preposition
in
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 their native places and no need to move to big
cities
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.Other than
this
Linking Words
 individuals should be educated about the consequences of the
population
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 crisis. So, in
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
,way
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 they can
also
Linking Words
 contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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 the welfare of the nation. To conclude, undoubtedly,
extension
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an extension
the extension
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 of the
cities
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 and
growing
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the growing
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 crowd is a major issue which cannot be neglected. So, both the citizens and governing bodies should take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 steps to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem for
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 and welfare of their countries.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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