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Band 6

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal .some people,however, think other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Nowadays, many governments believe that economic
progress
 is
necesarry
Correct your spelling
necessary
.
Whilist
Correct your spelling
Whilst
While
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 say that other types of
progress
 are equally important.
However
, education systems
plays
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play
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the
people
 and technology is
also
 a serious thing to upgrade day by day.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
 I believe that both are important to the nation and stay up-to-date.
To begin
 with, the governments are making new laws
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their
economy
. It
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits to the
people
 because the property rates are increasing because of
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
economy
.
People
 can earn high paid jobs to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs.
For example
,
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth in the country is a symbol of money
people
 can earn good money and buy whatever they like.
Moreover
,
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
 countries with economic growth have stronger
army
Fix the agreement mistake
armies
show examples
 and police so, it is safe to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Furthermore
, education
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 necessary because
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
people
 follow proper laws and clean the society in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very effective
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, the
Government
 should focus on
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 of technology and provide
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to state
government
 and money help to
people
 who have
talent
Change the article
the talent
show examples
 to innovate new things. To illustrate,
American
Correct article usage
the American
show examples
 regime is providing funds to the
people
 who invent new things.
However
, the governments should build fast trains and well maintain transportation facilities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
 which will help them to reach their destination
easyily
Correct your spelling
easily
 and efficiently. To conclude, economic
progress
 is important but the
government
 should not ignore other
progress
. Every
progress
 is necessary for the development of the
people
. The
government
 should soar
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and invent new things to ease the work of
people
.
Submitted by narinder9959 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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