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Band 6.5

Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

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Today, many parents tend to buy a large number of
toys
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 for their
children
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.
Although
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 it may seem of little importance in parenting, it can significantly impact the
child
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's development. Keeping a
child
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 busy and constantly discovering
with
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apply
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their
toys
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 is undoubtedly beneficial for their growth, but not the excess of indulging them that some parents have by buying them what they want.
Children
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 in their early stages are constantly looking to touch, assemble, invent, or even break things.
Toys
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 allow
children
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 to discover their motor and creative abilities. Some classic
toys
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such
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 as bicycles, legos or crayons open up endless possibilities for creation.
According to
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 experts,
toys
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 give them the first guidelines for behaving as social subjects, with simple schemes that they can learn and
then
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 deepen.
For example
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, girls who play with Barbies teach them how to take care of others, with scenarios similar to those in real life, or
children
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 who play with Lego learn the basic principles of construction.
Although
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 having many
toys
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 in your
child
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's room can ensure entertainment and interest, it is important to be careful about how many
toys
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 to give them, and especially, what kind of
toys
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 to give to
children
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. The key is to be reasonable and consider whether that toy really brings or entertains your
child
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, and if it is really worth giving them, after all,
toys
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 are not free. It is
also
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 important to set limits and not give them a new toy every time they want it. In conclusion, having a
child
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 with a wide variety of
toys
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 will give them an active and creative mind, as long as
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toys
Change the noun form
toy
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 products are safe and challenge them to create or learn new things.
Moreover
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, parents should not spoil them by always giving them their wishes,
buying
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or buying
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 them a lot of
toys
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 just because they ask for them.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points and deepen the analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.
Cohesion
Aim for a more varied sentence structure to enhance the flow of ideas. This can make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
Coherence
While your introduction effectively presents the topic, a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main arguments could strengthen your essay further.
Coherence
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, effectively discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as Barbie and Lego, which effectively illustrate your points about toy impact on social and creative skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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