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Band 5

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

#people #internet #world
People
 often claim that the
Internet
 leads
people
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
 closer throughout the world. I completely agree with
this
 opinion. Undeniably,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 becomes the most important communication method in the world.
First
 of all,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 provides a virtual space for
people
 to meet. In the past, we need to go out if we want to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
face-to-face contact with our friends.
However
, some
people
 may choose to have a meeting on the
Internet
 nowadays. Obviously,
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
show examples
 meeting becomes popular under
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic all over the world. Businessmen hold Zoom meetings through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, children have virtual lessons on Google classroom as well. It is no doubt to say that
people
 rely on the
Internet
 for keeping in touch with others. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
,
people
 can contact
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
 and
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
 through
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
.
People
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 likely to have a
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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 phone call every day since it is costly.
Also
,
people
 tend to post a letter from
time
 to
time
 because they do not want to delay their message.
However
, you can send
message
Correct article usage
a message
show examples
 to your beloved friend and he will receive it in the
next
second
, even
he
Correct word choice
if he
show examples
 is on the other side of the Earth.
Moreover
,
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 through social communication applications
such
 as Whatsapp and Telegram can attach image files
besides
 voice and text, so that
people
 can have
clear
Add an article
a clear
show examples
 understanding of the content. To sum up,
Add an article
the breakthrough
a breakthrough
show examples
breakthrough
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breakthroughs
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology can change
people
's communication
style
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styles
show examples
.
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 gives
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 having
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
 virtually, no matter what
time
 and place. I wholeheartedly believe that
Internet
 can link up
people
’s
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Submitted by kuru on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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