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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co- education or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. To what extent do you agree with this view ?

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In many countries,
boys
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 and
girls
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 attend mixed
schools
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 and benefit from learning together.
However
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, some people believe that single-sex
schools
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 are more beneficial.
This
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 essay strongly disagrees with that view and will explain how co-education helps
students
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 understand the opposite
gender
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 and promotes
gender
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 equality. One key advantage of mixed
schools
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 is that they allow
boys
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 and
girls
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 to interact from a young age, helping them understand each other better. In today's society, women play important roles beyond traditional household duties. If
students
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 are educated separately, they may struggle to communicate and cooperate with the opposite
gender
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 in adulthood.
For example
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, in Iran, where single-sex
schools
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 are common, many
students
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 do not interact with the opposite
gender
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 until adulthood, which can make it difficult for them to form normal relationships in society. Another benefit of co-education is that it encourages
gender
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 equality. When
boys
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 and
girls
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 study together, they learn to see each other as equals rather than associating certain skills or jobs with a specific
gender
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.
This
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 helps reduce
gender
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-based discrimination in the workplace.
For example
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, in the United States, where most
schools
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 are mixed, women have gained access to high-ranking jobs, including the presidency, which was once considered a male-only role. In conclusion, single-sex education is not as beneficial as mixed education. Co-educational
schools
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 help
students
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 develop a better understanding of the opposite
gender
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 and promote equality in society.
Therefore
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,
boys
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 and
girls
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 should continue to study together to build a fairer and more cooperative world.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay, which is commendable. To strengthen it further, you might consider briefly mentioning the opposing viewpoint before stating your disagreement, which would provide a more balanced introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each main point. However, to enhance transitions between your ideas, consider using linking phrases that signal the relationship between points, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition.' This would improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your arguments; however, including more specific data or studies could enhance the persuasiveness of your points. For instance, citing statistics on the performance of students in mixed vs. single-sex schools could provide a stronger basis for your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted the societal implications of co-education, such as promoting gender equality and improving communication skills, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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