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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government investment in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money in public services instead to what extent do you agree or disagree

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #services
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In
this
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 modern time ,duration lawmakers are spending money on humour and entertaining things like
music
Use synonyms
 and theatre.
Nevertheless
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, few reckon that it is an inappropriate thing despite jubilant gadgets they should invest in the comfort of the public.but I believe both are consistently significant so I have mixed notions and explicit it in upcoming paragraphs
To begin
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 with, benefits of providing financial assistance to
music
Use synonyms
 and other shows which make individuals laugh. To elaborate , people perform or follow hectic works throughout the life from which they attained plethora of stress so for relaxing themselves they take help of watching ridiculous programs on television and to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 in their leisure time.
For instance
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, as everyone knows doing intense workouts in the gym and other physical fitness training centres folks often prefer to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
listen to
music
Use synonyms
 which makes them relax and discharge their depression.
On the other hand
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 not only investing in entertaining shows but
also
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 giving priority to public services like constructing accurate roads and providing basic privileges to poor residents.like food, and shelter
further
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, if they obtain basic needs from the domination
this
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 will result in flourishing the mind of juveniles as well as their future will be brighter To recapitulate,
although
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 both beliefs are spontaneously crucial to obey. Whereas,
instead
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 of spending money on pleasure full activities and fulfilment of the public should be encouraged
Submitted by naresh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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