Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. What extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that offspring had better spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
playing outdoor
games
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of indoor
games
Use synonyms
. I
also
Linking Words
agree with
this
Linking Words
statement that doing physical
activities
Use synonyms
has countless benefits for
children
Use synonyms
's mental and physical development.
Firstly
Linking Words
, participation in outdoor movement improves
children
Use synonyms
's health.
In other words
Linking Words
, should juveniles invest maximum hours in playground sports,
such
Linking Words
as football, basketball and hockey ,
then
Linking Words
these sports will help them to build up their strength and immune system.
This
Linking Words
is because they can take breathe in the fresh air.
Also
Linking Words
, these days, offsprings face obesity issues ,so outdoor pursuits can help to prevent
this
Linking Words
problem.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, spending maximum hours in front of screens can indulge them in mental issues
such
Linking Words
as stressed mind
however
Linking Words
outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
can contribute to keeping their mind stress-free and fresh.
Moreover
Linking Words
, outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
not only enhance physical fitness but
also
Linking Words
interpersonal skills. To explain it, when offspring go outside to play ,
then
Linking Words
they can interact face to face with other people .
Hence
Linking Words
, these situations can teach them lots of things
such
Linking Words
as communication skills, cooperation  and teamwork ,
this
Linking Words
behaviour can lead to stronger relationships in the future.
As a result
Linking Words
, if
children
Use synonyms
spend more
time
Use synonyms
on computer
games
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
they will be  deprived of these benefits and
also
Linking Words
aspect some help issues,
such
Linking Words
as being overweight and having eyesight problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, young people can save precious
time
Use synonyms
by investing in outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , young people who spend too much
time
Use synonyms
on computer
games
Use synonyms
can suffer from mental illness,
therefore
Linking Words
, outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
are more fruitful for
children
Use synonyms
's growth .
Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: