Many families allow their children to have early Internet exposure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,

children

tend to have early access to the

Internet

. While many people said that it has many benefits, I believe that it has more drawbacks. Regarding the drawbacks of the

chilren

Correct your spelling

children

children's

connection to the

Internet

Firstly

, spending excessive time

to use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

or other services to access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Internet

may bring a negative effect on their

children

For example

, a child who

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

twenty-hours

Correct your spelling

twenty hours

show examples

a day on smartphones

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

video

Add an article

the video

a video

show examples

playing

Replace the word

play

show examples

games could

damaged

Change the verb form

damage

show examples

their eyes and easily get addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video games.

Secondly

, there are many videos on websites or

dark

Correct article usage

the dark

show examples

web which are not suitable for

children

such

as death films or kill videos.

Therefore

, the families

permit

Wrong verb form

permitting

show examples

youngsters to use the

Internet

is indirectly damaging the development of their

children

Last

but not least,

children

could neglect their studies at school because

expenditure

Change preposition

of expenditure

show examples

to surf the

internet

. They do not concentrate on their studies, which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in bad scores and bad academic performance at school.

Besides

its drawbacks, having exposure early to the

Internet

has some benefits.

First

, using the

Internet

at a small age helps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

learn faster.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

show examples

child at four or five age could study English or other subjects via Youtube or Facebook without teaching by

teacher

Correct article usage

the teacher

show examples

As a result

, they may broaden their

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

, and become more intelligent.

Moreover

children

could use the

Internet

to play games or

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

interesting videos to relax or unwind.

Also

, it helps

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

the rate of mortality

Change preposition

show examples

young age due to loneliness or depression. Meanwhile, it is true that

children

accessing the

Internet

early

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

some advantages,

Correct word choice

but I

show examples

think that its disadvantages are greater.

Submitted by Eteacher on Sat May 14 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Many families allow their children to have early Internet exposure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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