Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

Television is the door to many challenges for human lives because they spend their free time with it.

Therefore

, individuals who are like watching

will be made lazy

people

and been social

people

day by day. I would completely think that it is justified because they should socialize outdoor to develop themselves.

This

is a problem which is being talked up by some as a very serious threat. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding.82

To begin

with, recent research suggests that focusing on watching

at an early age can be detrimental.

This

statement causes habits in

people

.not only young

people

and

also

old

people

too.

For instance

, when I was a child, I always watched cartoons every morning until the age of 12. These cartoons magicked me ,especially Tom and Jerry. After 12 years old, I unfollowed watching

and focused on various outdoor activities.

Hence

people

can give up watching

programs in their free time , if they want. 88

On the other hand

, with increasing the number of

programmes and movies,

people

lock on

because they are curious about what happened.

This

is capitalism which is caused by rich citizens because as long as individuals watch

,rich

people

who have a

channel earn a lot of money and these

people

do not want to close it.60 To sum up, watching

surpasses our free time and makes citizens lazy. Societies should decrease watching

and focused on their future.

Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on Sat May 14 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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some people agree with spending lots of money on a large wedding while other think it is a wastage of time what is our opinion

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