IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #cities
The rapid increase in modernization has adversely affected the economy, in the sense, that all the stores in local markets and cities are on the urge of obsolete, the reason is, emerging trends of shopping online.
Therefore
, I completely agree with the statement because once people start trusting online retailers, they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 shopping more convenient and time-saving.
Firstly
, the fashion industry
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 changed the scenario of 90% of the population worldwide. To illustrate, a survey was conducted in 2018 by the Welfare Society, they compared the results with offline shopping and it was quite surprising that 98% of the total crowd was involved in buying products,
for instance
, furniture, clothing and footwear using applications, namely, Myntra, Flipkart, Amazon and eBay.
Additionally
, these shopping apps provide a lot of offers
as well as
 heavy discounts during festive seasons.
As a result
, they build confidence and trust to go online other than offline shopping.
Secondly
, a recent study illustrated that the reason for
such
 a switchover is mainly because an individual can save time
as well as
 money.
Furthermore
, these websites are so flexible that a person can return or exchange the products
within
Change preposition
with
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 a single click.
According to
 the survey, conducted by the management student, he said 80% were youngsters who like to buy online using debit cards,
while
 the remaining population still follow the traditional method.
Hence
, the local markets and stores are now abolished and they are
also
 adopting the same methodology to go online to increase productivity.
To conclude
, every human being should enhance their skills and learn the latest technologies to put their stuff on websites. There are certain constraints, which should be kept in mind and the government should make some policies to deal with these issues, to make customers feel safe and satisfied.
Submitted by hejp009 on

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Task Response
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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by using clear transition words and maintaining logical progression of ideas.
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