Many parents are buying too many toys for their children. To what extend is this positive or negative for children?

Having too many
toys
can give a great sense of inner satisfaction to a child. On
this
account, a number of
children
are being provided with a plethora of
toys
. From my point of view, it has had more practical effects on
children
compared to those with less
amused
Replace the word
amusing
show examples
toys
. On the positive side, having various kinds of
toys
can improve
creativity
. Needless to say that since some of them are designed to develop
creativity
, buying them can be beneficial for a child. Boosting
creativity
,
toys
have made
children
more ready when it is time for starting
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
it has witnessed those
children
who have created shapes with Legos before going to
school
have had better performance in lessons needed
creativity
like painting at
school
.
Furthermore
, having a
care-free
Correct your spelling
carefree
show examples
childhood by playing with
toys
results in
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
EQ
level. Higher levels of
EQ
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
understanding at
school
. To illustrate
this
, according to a recent poll those
children
who tried a wide range of
toys
, had higher
EQ
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, and 2 times faster in learning new tasks at
school
.
On the other hand
, having too many playing items can
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in
children
with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of social skills. While taking
children
to
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
with peers can improve social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, buying too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
toys
makes them sit in a room being amused with
toys
and getting
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
use
Change the verb form
used
show examples
to loneliness
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day long
that is
why they become reluctant to meet new people, and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
too many
toys
is not beneficial.
For instance
, as we see
children
who are usually far from
toys
tend to go out more and play with real peers. In conclusion,
although
playing
toys
Change preposition
with toys
show examples
can lead to low levels of interaction for a child, from my point of view occupying them with
toys
is more efficient since it leads to higher
EQ
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and more
creativity
both of which are necessary for better learning.
Submitted by shahlad on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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