Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write 250 words.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

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It is generally accepted that working part-

time

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to earn money as a teenager is essential. While

this

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activity may educate youngsters on the basics of working and discipline, it can

also

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affect their resting

time

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Thus

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this

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essay will discuss both views.

First

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of all, pupils who

work

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as part-timers can obtain the base knowledge of working and can learn to be more disciplined. Those who

work

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have a designated task assigned for them,

therefore

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, they have the responsibility to accomplish the jobs they are given which can grow a sense of responsibility.

Moreover

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, students who have already experienced working will adapt easily when they are working in real life after they graduate.

For instance

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, a person who did an internship while they are studying in college will understand the working environment easier when they are accepted into a company after they finish their degree.

On the other hand

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, working at a young age will sacrifice their leisure

time

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and other activities they might have after school

time

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. Taking leisure

time

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work

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will cause some effects,

such

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as health issues.

For instance

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, working during one’s resting

time

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can drain the energy he/she is having,

therefore

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they might experience an overwhelmed situation or maybe lack of sleep.

Furthermore

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, youngsters who

work

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might prioritize their job over education, since working can result in money.

For example

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, a student who earns financial benefits from working tends to focus more to obtain a higher amount of money, while deprioritizing his/her education which results in bad scores. In conclusion,

although

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working part-

time

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can equip students with basic knowledge of working and discipline, teenagers should not sacrifice their free

time

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work

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. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it is more important to prioritize education rather than working at a young age.

Submitted by savirapurbo on Mon May 16 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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