In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school

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Throughout history, advances have led to a widely held belief that the benefits of adolescents working outweigh their disadvantages. There is,

however

Linking Words

, a convincing argument that teenagers who are encouraged to obtain part-time employment while they are still in school are preparing themselves for the future. On the one hand,

students

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learn the virtues necessary to achieve success from

this

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part-time

job

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As a result

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, part-time work exposes you to a wide variety of situations that are rarely encountered in academic settings.

Also

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, improving your brain's hemispheres will help you solve problems that you seldom encounter.

This

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phrase describes both of the things that will help you achieve your goal. In a recent study conducted in Vietnam, where half of the

students

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were working part-time, we discovered that determination was the main advantage of part-time employment.

However

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, due to distractions and fatigue,

students

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should only focus on studying.

First

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of all, timing is a crucial factor in the daily activities of

students

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. It means that engaging in a

job

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which they enjoy will reflect themselves in education which is a priority for them. As mentioned previously, life health is yet another persuasive challenge which

students

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face,

such

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as the more they work, the more they are tired.

Additionally

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students

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are

also

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at risk of getting a

job

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that leads to a dead-end

job

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since they are embedded in a situation of six and seven. As well, half of the

students

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in Vietnam are enrolled in universities that offer dead-end jobs, which has a negative impact on their consciousness.

Thus

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, due to the fact that they do not have a bright mind, they will leave behind themselves. In collusion, while there are some advantages of applying for a

job

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as soon as a student is able, it is evident that the disadvantage of working outweighs the benefits more than

students

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Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on Mon May 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You stayed at a hotel to attend a company meeting and you were dissatisfied with your stay. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter – Provide the details of your meeting – Explain what you were dissatisfied with – Suggest what the hotel should do to resolve the issue.

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?