Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #violence #media #television #programs #films #results #behaviour

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Nowadays, the

media

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are becoming very popular.

However

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, almost every

films

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film

show examples

and television

programs

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program

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are having violent scenes which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it can influent the viewer to

harbor

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harbour

show examples

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Change preposition

From

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my perspective, I partly agree with

this

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statement which I will depict the reasons in the below paragraphs.

First

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of all,

people

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who watch

the

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apply

show examples

violent film or programs will have a chance to commit

the

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apply

show examples

crime in real life

such

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the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

shooting incidents in America. They believe that

violent

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violence

show examples

are

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show examples

normal and get used to it.

However

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, some

people

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can’t think that it is

the

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show examples

bad habit that shouldn’t be followed.

Moreover

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, the

flighting

Correct your spelling

fighting

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games or

violence

Use synonyms

in the

media

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will contribute

people

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to get angry easily. When they watch a lot of violent

film

Change to a plural noun

films

show examples

, their brains will become work harder and cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

such

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use

Change the form of the verb

using

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

bad words and

Add a missing verb

being more

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impatient.

Nevertheless

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, the researchers found that the risk of having

a mental health problems

Correct the article-noun agreement

mental health problems

a mental health problem

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing since

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent

media

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appear.

For example

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, children are playing counter strike which is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

flighting

Correct your spelling

fighting

show examples

game that

use

Correct subject-verb agreement

uses

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dangerous weapons to kill enemies. The game will influence kids to have

the

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apply

show examples

bad habits, actions and

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. In summary, the

violence

Use synonyms

in the

media

Use synonyms

can lead

people

Use synonyms

to make a crime and cause their

Correct your spelling

mental

show examples

metal

Correct your spelling

mental

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health which can

effects

Change the verb form

effect

show examples

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

themself and society. In my perspective, I believe that if the

media

Use synonyms

have less

violence

Use synonyms

, it will bring

people

Use synonyms

to have less flighting too.

Then

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, the country will be safer and better.

Submitted by chompunoot.raj on Tue May 17 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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