IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the following maps show some of the changes that have taken place in Dubi in recent decades. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make commparisons where relavant.

the following maps show some of the changes that have taken place in Dubi in recent decades. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make commparisons where relavant.
#maps #show #changes #place #dubi #decades #summarise #information #features #commparisons #relavant
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 two
maps
 illustrate changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Clock
Correct article usage
the Clock
show examples
 Tower Roundabout of Dubai from the past to
Correct article usage
the present-day
show examples
present-day
Correct your spelling
present day
show examples
.
It is clear that
this
 area has undergone significant changes.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most parts of the area have been modernized,
in particular
, many skyscrapers have been built and replaced green space,
in addition
desert
Fix the infinitive
to desert
show examples
. One of the most changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades is that the skyscrapers have been expanded around the Clock Tower Roundabout.
Furthermore
, it has become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
busier, today.
Moreover
, the population has climbed dramatically and the number of cars and drivers has increased. In both
maps
, what has remained the same is the Clock Tower in the middle of the Roundabout.
Although
 a few trees have been planted around it.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 you can see
small
Add an article
the small
a small
show examples
 and similar desert
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 at the bottom of the
maps
. The other thing that has remained the same is the one of the
skyscraper
Change to a plural noun
skyscrapers
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the
maps
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words maps with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: