IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the government should increases taxes for unhealthy food. Others, however, hold that it would be more effective to subsidize producers of fruit and vegetables Discuss both sides and give your opinion on the matter.

#people #government #increases #taxes #food #producers #fruit #vegetables #matter
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that
taxes
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 should be risen by the
government
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide
Correct your spelling
subsidies
show examples
subsides
Correct your spelling
subsidies
show examples
 to
famers
Correct your spelling
farmers
 who produce fruit and vegetables.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline why they support each side and suggest my opinion On the one hand, if the
government
Use synonyms
 allocates
state-funds
Correct your spelling
state funds
show examples
 to producers, the price of fruit and vegetables becomes affordable to buy. A significant number of citizens purchase unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 as it is cheaper than healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, one cup of soft drink is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than that of milk or fruit juice. As the example clearly illustrates, supporting producers is an efficient means of helping consumers buy fresh produce.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some assert that imposing
taxes
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is a key factor in maintaining
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 among individuals. Since many people want to buy cheap
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as fast
food
Use synonyms
, it is more popular than nutritious
food
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants are ubiquitous in contemporary society. Not only can consumption of high sugary
food
Use synonyms
 cause obesity, but it may
also
Linking Words
 contribute to other major health issues
such
Linking Words
 as type 2 diabetes. If the
government
Use synonyms
 decide to impose
taxes
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
, people would not buy it, and
therefore
Linking Words
 the public can manage their health. Regarding
this
Linking Words
, from my point of view,
taxes
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be efficient means of enhancement of
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. If the
taxes
Use synonyms
 are collected, the
government
Use synonyms
 can spend these
taxes
Use synonyms
 on other urgent public issues
such
Linking Words
 as public transportation or education.
As a result
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 standard of living would
be enhance
Change the verb form
be enhanced
show examples
. In conclusion, while supporting producers can sometimes be efficient for healthy
food
Use synonyms
 becoming affordable, imposing
taxes
Use synonyms
 can help the population keep
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 life and allocate funds to public service, thereby leading to increasing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 standard of living.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: