IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Whoever controls the media also controls the opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little that can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#controls #media #attitudes #people
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In the technological era, even a small
information
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 is quickly available on various sources of
media
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. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
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 conceptions and views are modified after viewing the reviews of
people
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 in the forums. I believe that constant bombarding the controlled flow of
information
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 on multimedia really affects the opinions of
people
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. Every
Media
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 present needs an income on which it can sustain and provide service. so advertising is one of the
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
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 of income for the
media
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. It always shows the ads which are generating more revenue and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
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 to give more view time slots, which end up
people
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 believe and increase in sales though these products may not be
a
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apply
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good for society.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of these ads
shows
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show
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 half or false
information
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.
For example
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, promoting junk foods is not good for society and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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just
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the health risk in the country
and
Correct word choice
apply
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such
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 kind of promotion should have been avoided.
Furthermore
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, the
media
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 owners do not publish the news
that is
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 against the wealthy or organisational institutes which may affect the society in a negative way.
For example
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,
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
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 only the positives of any
govermental
Correct your spelling
governmental
schemes
Fix the agreement mistake
scheme
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 and not discussing the negative ways and challenges
in
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of
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 those schemes will build a wrong perception among the users.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
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 will not find any more detailed reviews or
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
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 in forums that would say negative about the scheme which
wil
Correct your spelling
will
Linking Words
further
Correct your spelling
furthermore
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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manipulate an individual to believe the news floating around
for
Change preposition
about
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 the scheme. To conclude, in my opinion, With various social
media
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, public forums,
paid
Correct word choice
and paid
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media
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 all are established for financial gains so the majority of the
information
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 that floats around across
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 various channels is either controlled or biased and the half
information
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 moving convinces the
people
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 to believe in
those news
Change the determiner
that news
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 which cannot be
rectify
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rectified
show examples
 until
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of
people
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 face the issue and take a stand against it.
Submitted by BHAVESH.PANCHAL55 on

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