Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, hires are more interested in humans with high
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
creative persons like artists. I understand
this
tendency and fully agree with them. There are two main reasons why
it’
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it’s
it’d
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supposed
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's supposed
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to be like
this
- the amount of
money
correlated with
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of risks and saturation of the market with a lot of
artist
Change to a plural noun
artists
show examples
. Investing
money
in science and technology is way
more
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apply
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safer for investors than
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
show examples
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
with the same idea of
money earning
Add a hyphen
money-earning
show examples
. We already have too
much artist
Fix the agreement mistake
many artists
show examples
and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of specialists
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, it’s sad but nowadays more and more
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
will not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support from sponsors and investors and they will be obliged to find
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
to earn
money
like freelance and
patreon
Change the capitalization
Patreon
show examples
.
Submitted by vktory45 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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