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Band 1

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists.To what extent do you agree or disagree

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
Nowadays, hires are more interested in humans with high
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
than
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 creative persons like artists. I understand
this
 tendency and fully agree with them. There are two main reasons why
it’
Complete the contraction
it’s
it’d
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supposed
Add a missing verb
's supposed
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 to be like
this
 - the amount of
money
 correlated with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of risks and saturation of the market with a lot of
artist
Change to a plural noun
artists
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. Investing
money
 in science and technology is way
more
Change the word
apply
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safer for investors than
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
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musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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 with the same idea of
money earning
Add a hyphen
money-earning
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. We already have too
much artist
Fix the agreement mistake
many artists
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 and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of specialists
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, it’s sad but nowadays more and more
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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 will not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support from sponsors and investors and they will be obliged to find
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
 to earn
money
 like freelance and
patreon
Change the capitalization
Patreon
show examples
.
Submitted by vktory45 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
What to do next:
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