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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts claim that most of the outstanding innovations and have been made by people with a high level of so-called ‘innate intelligence’. What are the advantages and disadvantages of relying on this theory in order to succeed in life for an ordinary people?

Most authorities say that majority of humanity’s achievements are made thanks to
inborn
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the inborn
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 intellect of others.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages,
such
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 as the improvement of humankind’s
life
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, and disadvantages,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 the return of
monarchy
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the monarchy
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, of
relaying
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relying
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 on
this
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 claim.
Such
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claim
Correct article usage
a claim
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 can provide an improvement
of
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in
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 most spheres of
human’s
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human
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life
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. The new innovations will make more opportunities available and ease people’s
life
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. By making more and more discoveries in various spheres of
life
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, it will be possible to improve them too.
Secondly
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, most
of
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apply
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things
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the things
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 that may seem to be ordinary
for
Change preposition
to
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 us are innovations made by geniuses.
For example
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, cars were made to make the trips between long distances easier and more comfortable than
with
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apply
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wagons. It eased
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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 routine of
community
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the community
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, while back
then
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 it was barely possible to buy and make it. But there are two sides
of
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to
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coin
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the coin
a coin
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 as always.
One
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 of the disadvantages is there is a risk of
return
Correct article usage
the return
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of
Change preposition
to
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monarchy
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the monarchy
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 in our society. The person who is able to make innovations will have the power to rule the country and mankind. And as history shows
human
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humans
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 can not ignore the permissiveness of authority.
Moreover
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, the fate of whole mankind shouldn’t depend on only
one
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 person that might have his or her own desires. In conclusion, trusting people with innate intelligence is
one
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 of the choices that can be made by humanity. But we must remember that giving absolute power to only
one
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 person is risky and have its own consequences.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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