People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

It is said that

people

are living longer after they retire.

This

issue is believed to have some negative effects and so requires specific solutions. On the one hand, living longer after

retirement

has led to

heavier

Add an article

the heavier

a heavier

show examples

financial burden on the government. A large portion of the population requires financial assistance from the council to maintain their

livings

Fix the agreement mistake

living

show examples

after

retirement

This

can create an impact on the government budget as it requires more

tax-payers’

Correct your spelling

tax-payers

money

to provide pensions for retired

people

Moreover

, as

people

get older, the risk of sickness and disease

also

increases. Again,

this

can have a serious impact on the health system, especially in those overloaded and underfunded hospitals in neglected areas.

As a result

money

from the administration will be used to solve these problems,

thus

decreasing the government’s funds.

However

, there are several solutions that can be performed in order to deal with

such

issues. If retired

people

are living longer, it may mean that they are still healthy enough to continue contributing

for

Change preposition

show examples

the companies and

thus

the council can increase the

retirement

age, or allow part-time

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

for the retired so that they can earn

money

Change preposition

show examples

their own hands. Nowadays, in many developed countries, employers are required to make financial contributions to the

retirement

funds on behalf of their employees. These funds help to sustain the elderly throughout their

retirement

without placing too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

burdens on the administration’s budgets. It is

also

advised that the council can encourage immigration in order to expand the workforce,

thus

allowing the government to invest more

money

for the retired by collecting more taxes. In conclusion,

although

the longevity of retired

people

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

led to some problems, there are still ways to reduce the impacts that

this

issue is having on the economy.

Submitted by doibichhoa on Wed May 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching many students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?
Until few years back students were taught only in traditional class rooms where teachers would give them lectures. However, due to the increase in technology advancement, medium of teaching has transferred to online classes. I think this a boon for both students and teachers. Even though there are some demerits to this teaching method, the advantage of it outweighs the minor drawbacks which shall be elaborated in the following passages.
5
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to
It is an inevitable fact that, environment is facing numerous health Problems nowadays. However, many People assert that, every individuals Should recycle their home waste, whereas, some think it is government responsibility. Both statement will be Investigated in following Paragraph.
5
band
Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion
Some people think that children should obey their parents and teachers, and do what they instruct children to do. Others believe that children who are controlled too much cannot deal with problems when they become adults. I personally believe that while controlling makes children disciplined for a certain time, it hinders their capabilities of making decisions in their adulthood.
7
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
"Nothing is impossible" is one of the famous sayings that most people could refer to in any hard situation. This is not totally wrong because , in some places, people have already been told the same thing since they were young by their parents. It does sound like good words of encouragement, however, it also has some downsides to children's way of thinking and behaviour.
6.5
band
It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.
The media has become ubiquitous in our modern world, permeating every aspect of our lives and society. It is an indispensable part of contemporary culture and a powerful tool for shaping public opinion. The influence of media has grown exponentially in recent years, and its impact is felt all over the world. From newspapers and television to radio and the internet, media outlets offer us many benefits, such as disseminating information, entertainment, and updates on various promotions. However, while the advantages of media are numerous, its increasing use has also had some detrimental effects on the community.

People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching many students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to

Some people think that children should obey and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.