People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

It is said that

people

are living longer after they retire.

This

issue is believed to have some negative effects and so requires specific solutions. On the one hand, living longer after

retirement

has led to

heavier

Add an article

the heavier

a heavier

show examples

financial burden on the government. A large portion of the population requires financial assistance from the council to maintain their

livings

Fix the agreement mistake

living

show examples

after

retirement

This

can create an impact on the government budget as it requires more

tax-payers’

Correct your spelling

tax-payers

money

to provide pensions for retired

people

Moreover

, as

people

get older, the risk of sickness and disease

also

increases. Again,

this

can have a serious impact on the health system, especially in those overloaded and underfunded hospitals in neglected areas.

As a result

money

from the administration will be used to solve these problems,

thus

decreasing the government’s funds.

However

, there are several solutions that can be performed in order to deal with

such

issues. If retired

people

are living longer, it may mean that they are still healthy enough to continue contributing

for

Change preposition

show examples

the companies and

thus

the council can increase the

retirement

age, or allow part-time

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

for the retired so that they can earn

money

Change preposition

show examples

their own hands. Nowadays, in many developed countries, employers are required to make financial contributions to the

retirement

funds on behalf of their employees. These funds help to sustain the elderly throughout their

retirement

without placing too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

burdens on the administration’s budgets. It is

also

advised that the council can encourage immigration in order to expand the workforce,

thus

allowing the government to invest more

money

for the retired by collecting more taxes. In conclusion,

although

the longevity of retired

people

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

led to some problems, there are still ways to reduce the impacts that

this

issue is having on the economy.

Submitted by doibichhoa on Wed May 18 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

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People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

you are unhappy about a plan to make your local airport bigger and increase the number of flights. You live near the airport. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter Explain where you live Describe the problem Give reasons why you don’t want this development.

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Should Children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to s