People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that
people
Use synonyms
are living longer after they retire.
This
Linking Words
issue is believed to have some negative effects and so requires specific solutions. On the one hand, living longer after
retirement
Use synonyms
has led to
heavier
Add an article
the heavier
a heavier
show examples
financial burden on the government. A large portion of the population requires financial assistance from the council to maintain their
livings
Fix the agreement mistake
living
show examples
after
retirement
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can create an impact on the government budget as it requires more
tax-payers’
Correct your spelling
tax-payers
money
Use synonyms
to provide pensions for retired
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
get older, the risk of sickness and disease
also
Linking Words
increases. Again,
this
Linking Words
can have a serious impact on the health system, especially in those overloaded and underfunded hospitals in neglected areas.
As a result
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
from the administration will be used to solve these problems,
thus
Linking Words
decreasing the government’s funds.
However
Linking Words
, there are several solutions that can be performed in order to deal with
such
Linking Words
issues. If retired
people
Use synonyms
are living longer, it may mean that they are still healthy enough to continue contributing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the companies and
thus
Linking Words
the council can increase the
retirement
Use synonyms
age, or allow part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
for the retired so that they can earn
money
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own hands. Nowadays, in many developed countries, employers are required to make financial contributions to the
retirement
Use synonyms
funds on behalf of their employees. These funds help to sustain the elderly throughout their
retirement
Use synonyms
without placing too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
burdens on the administration’s budgets. It is
also
Linking Words
advised that the council can encourage immigration in order to expand the workforce,
thus
Linking Words
allowing the government to invest more
money
Use synonyms
for the retired by collecting more taxes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the longevity of retired
people
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
led to some problems, there are still ways to reduce the impacts that
this
Linking Words
issue is having on the economy.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: