Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is generally believed by certain teachers that all
children
should learn about playing a music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
. Regarding this
, I only partially agree with this
assertion.
On the one hand, Correct your spelling
learning
leaning
how to play Correct your spelling
learning
Correct article usage
a music
music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
can cause stress among students who do not have talent. While some Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
children
have the natural gift of music
and are interested in music
, others do not have qualities and consider that music
is boring. Therefore
, a significant youngster
who are pushed by their parents to learn about Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
become rebellious due to excessive stress. Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
Consequently
, only talented children
should be supported to learn a musical instrument
. Moreover
, there are more crucial academic subjects
that should be taught for their future. The ability
playing
a musical Change the verb form
to play
instrument
is an optional aptitude rather integral one. If children
do not want to enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
musical
school, other major Change preposition
in musical
subjects
such
as mathematics and language play a key factor in enrollment to
prestigious secondary school. Change preposition
in
For example
, the majority of schools that have a
excellent reputation in Korea ask Change the article
an
children
to have an extraordinary grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
of
academic Change preposition
in
subjects
rather than art. Hence
, children
should allocate their energy and time for
learning academic Change preposition
to
subjects
.
On the other hand
, gaining how to play a music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
such
as the piano is an efficient means of maintaining mental health. Music
has power
to motivate and encourage Change the article
the power
children
to have positive thinking, thereby leading to releasing their stress. For instance
, a significant number of mental hospitals provide music
therapy. Moreover
, I used to play the piano when I fought with my younger brother in order to increase my mood. Therefore
, music
can influence children
positively. In addition
, if a child learn
about a Change the verb form
learns
music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
, it will be beneficial to being
successful in the future. In Change the form of the verb
be
this
competitive society, not only can the ability
of playing
a Replace the preposition
to play
music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
bring about impression
to Correct article usage
an impression
recruiter
when applying for a position, but it may Add an article
the recruiter
a recruiter
also
contribute to a chance to show their ability
on
social activities to get attention from high-levelled workers Change preposition
in
such
as CEO. Therefore
, these attention
can put one ahead of the game when applying for a promotion.
In conclusion, while I accept that learning how to play a musical Change the determiner
this attention
instrument
can sometimes be rather stressful and learning
academic Correct word choice
that learning
subjects
is more crucial than learning about a musical instrument
, there is no doubt that it is advantageous. As such
a
Change the article
an
ability
can be an asset for children
to maintain their mood and provide chance
to be successful.Add an article
a chance
the chance
Submitted by hiasince38 on
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Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.