It is generally believed by certain teachers that all
children
should learn about playing a
musicReplace the word
show examples
instrument
. Regarding
this
, I only partially agree with
this
assertion.
On the one hand,
Correct your spelling
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leaningCorrect your spelling
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how to play
Correct article usage
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musicReplace the word
show examples
instrumentFix the agreement mistake
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can cause stress among students who do not have talent. While some
children
have the natural gift of
music
and are interested in
music
, others do not have qualities and consider that
music
is boring.
Therefore
, a significant
youngsterFix the agreement mistake
show examples
who are pushed by their parents to learn about
musicReplace the word
show examples
instrumentFix the agreement mistake
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become rebellious due to excessive stress.
Consequently
, only talented
children
should be supported to learn a musical
instrument
.
Moreover
, there are more crucial academic
subjects
that should be taught for their future. The
ability
playingChange the verb form
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a musical
instrument
is an optional aptitude rather integral one. If
children
do not want to
enrollChange the spelling
show examples
musicalChange preposition
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school, other major
subjects
such
as mathematics and language play a key factor in enrollment
toChange preposition
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prestigious secondary school.
For example
, the majority of schools that have
aChange the article
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excellent reputation in Korea ask
children
to have an extraordinary
gradeFix the agreement mistake
show examples
ofChange preposition
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academic
subjects
rather than art.
Hence
,
children
should allocate their energy and time
forChange preposition
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learning academic
subjects
.
On the other hand
, gaining how to play a
musicReplace the word
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instrument
such
as the piano is an efficient means of maintaining mental health.
Music
has
powerChange the article
show examples
to motivate and encourage
children
to have positive thinking, thereby leading to releasing their stress.
For instance
, a significant number of mental hospitals provide
music
therapy.
Moreover
, I used to play the piano when I fought with my younger brother in order to increase my mood.
Therefore
,
music
can influence
children
positively.
In addition
, if a child
learnChange the verb form
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about a
musicReplace the word
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instrument
, it will be beneficial to
beingChange the form of the verb
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successful in the future. In
this
competitive society, not only can the
ability
of playingReplace the preposition
show examples
a
musicReplace the word
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instrument
bring about
impressionCorrect article usage
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to
recruiterAdd an article
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when applying for a position, but it may
also
contribute to a chance to show their
ability
onChange preposition
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social activities to get attention from high-levelled workers
such
as CEO.
Therefore
,
these attentionChange the determiner
show examples
can put one ahead of the game when applying for a promotion.
In conclusion, while I accept that learning how to play a musical
instrument
can sometimes be rather stressful and
learningCorrect word choice
show examples
academic
subjects
is more crucial than learning about a musical
instrument
, there is no doubt that it is advantageous. As
such
aChange the article
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ability
can be an asset for
children
to maintain their mood and provide
chanceAdd an article
show examples
to be successful.