Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is generally believed by certain teachers that all
children
should learn about playing a
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
. Regarding
this
, I only partially agree with
this
assertion. On the one hand,
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
how to play
Correct article usage
a music
show examples
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
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can cause stress among students who do not have talent. While some
children
have the natural gift of
music
and are interested in
music
, others do not have qualities and consider that
music
is boring.
Therefore
, a significant
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
who are pushed by their parents to learn about
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
show examples
become rebellious due to excessive stress.
Consequently
, only talented
children
should be supported to learn a musical
instrument
.
Moreover
, there are more crucial academic
subjects
that should be taught for their future. The
ability
playing
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
a musical
instrument
is an optional aptitude rather integral one. If
children
do not want to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
musical
Change preposition
in musical
show examples
school, other major
subjects
such
as mathematics and language play a key factor in enrollment
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
prestigious secondary school.
For example
, the majority of schools that have
a
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an
show examples
excellent reputation in Korea ask
children
to have an extraordinary
grade
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grades
show examples
of
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in
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academic
subjects
rather than art.
Hence
,
children
should allocate their energy and time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
learning academic
subjects
.
On the other hand
, gaining how to play a
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
such
as the piano is an efficient means of maintaining mental health.
Music
has
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
to motivate and encourage
children
to have positive thinking, thereby leading to releasing their stress.
For instance
, a significant number of mental hospitals provide
music
therapy.
Moreover
, I used to play the piano when I fought with my younger brother in order to increase my mood.
Therefore
,
music
can influence
children
positively.
In addition
, if a child
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
about a
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
, it will be beneficial to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
successful in the future. In
this
competitive society, not only can the
ability
of playing
Replace the preposition
to play
show examples
a
music
Replace the word
musical
show examples
instrument
bring about
impression
Correct article usage
an impression
show examples
to
recruiter
Add an article
the recruiter
a recruiter
show examples
when applying for a position, but it may
also
contribute to a chance to show their
ability
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
social activities to get attention from high-levelled workers
such
as CEO.
Therefore
,
these attention
Change the determiner
this attention
show examples
can put one ahead of the game when applying for a promotion. In conclusion, while I accept that learning how to play a musical
instrument
can sometimes be rather stressful and
learning
Correct word choice
that learning
show examples
academic
subjects
is more crucial than learning about a musical
instrument
, there is no doubt that it is advantageous. As
such
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ability
can be an asset for
children
to maintain their mood and provide
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
to be successful.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educators
  • taught
  • play a musical instrument
  • benefits
  • cognitive skills
  • academic performance
  • physical coordination
  • motor skills
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • express themselves
  • self-confidence
  • stress relief
  • relaxation
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • inclusivity
  • equal access
  • arts education
  • practical challenges
  • implementing
  • universal
  • balance
  • mandatory
  • academic subjects
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