IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #schools #purpose #support
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Recently, the phenomenon of educational purpose in teaching
institution
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institutions
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 has aroused wide concerns in various circles. Divergent as peoples’ views on
this
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 issue in question
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may be
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maybe
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may be
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, I personally believe that the aim of teaching
institution
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institutions
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 should be made for
educating
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educate
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 the
students
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. Of all the reasons why schools should be mainly used for educating
students
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, probably the most significant one is that it is preparing
students
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 for achieving great success in the
job
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market
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. Due to the prevalence of the knowledge-based society, thanks to the advancement of technology and mechanization of the production process, highly repetitive jobs are replaced by
the
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apply
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robots. What our modern society genuinely desire is not only a person with extensive academic knowledge
,
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apply
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 but
also
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with
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apply
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other crucial elements
such
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 as correct values,
social
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and social
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 skills that are taught by the educational institutions. While school can teach
students
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 about the professional academic knowledge, it can
also
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 provide a platform for the
students
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 to grasp a golden opportunity to unleash their potential,
for
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example
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,example
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student
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Students
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 can learn how to cooperate with each other in a group project, in a bid to fully equip themselves with a range of personal skills to sharpen their competitive edge in the future
job
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market
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. Despite increasing competitiveness in the
job
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market
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, never should we overlook the fact that school is equally vital to educate the
students
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 to understand the importance of
the
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apply
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moral concepts. While
moral
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the moral
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 standard has been declining, in metropolitan cities, nowadays, it is patently obvious that it is deemed our imminent attention and a correct moral concept should be instilled inside their minds. A striking illustration of a point is that most
of
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apply
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the teenagers would shout at their parents, in order to persuade their parents to buy them anything they wanted. And
therefore
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, it is of paramount importance that schools are responsible to educate
students
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 about correct moral values, in
turn
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,turn
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to
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apply
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understand the importance of filial piety and even respect their older parents. Under
this
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 line of thinking, not only the educational institutions should educate
students
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 to increase their
job
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market
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 competitiveness, but
also
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 to become morally respected people.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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