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Band 4.5

it is important to learn the difference between right and wrong.punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.to what extent do u disagree with this opinion.what sort of behavior should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children

The ability to differentiate right from wrong is an essential individual and social skill.Unfortunately many believe,
this
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 can be taught to
children
Use synonyms
 only with
punishments
Use synonyms
 which
i
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I
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 strongly disagree
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 essay will focus on why punishment is an unnecessary practice and how we can replace it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,I'm of the opinion that we have no right to harm another human irrespective of reasons,whether
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 the good intentions of a teacher or the
self proclaimed
Add a hyphen
self-proclaimed
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 right of parents.
Punishments
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 can be both physical like beating with
stick
Correct article usage
a stick
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 or belt,pinching,slapping,made to sit or stand in
uncomfortable
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an uncomfortable
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 manner for
prolonged
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a prolonged
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 time as well as mental which can be in the form of
withdrawl
Correct your spelling
withdrawal
 of affection,
shaming
Correct word choice
and shaming
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 in front of others.
These kind
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This kind
These kinds
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 of
punishments
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 can result in traumatized
children
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 growing up
to
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into
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 mentally unhealthy and disturbed adults.
Finally
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,the hard
punishments
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 cause disharmony and strains in the
relation
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relationship
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 between
children
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 and caregivers and eventually lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
love,care and affection. Plenty of healthier options can be adopted to develop good
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 in
children
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.Elders can let
children
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 observe them dealing
sensitive
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with sensitive
show examples
 and important issues and thereby lead by example,
this
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 uses the principle that
children
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 mimic whatever they see.While
its
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it's
it is
show examples
 of sheer importance that they are explained the importance or consequence of their ill actions,
its
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it's
it is
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 equally important to let them realize that mistakes are natural but they should learn to take responsibility for them and rectify their errors.If at all any
situations
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situation
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 demands a punishment,it should
limited
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be limited
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 to a time out for the child where he's left alone in a safe place under supervision.The main idea is to provide ample time for the child to realize his mistake on his own,
this
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 would help in developing good morals.
Hence
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,I assert that
punishments
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 are atrocious methods used in the name of instilling better
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in
children
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 which not only
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 seem to fetch the desired results but
also
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in
ever lasting
Correct your spelling
everlasting
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 physical and mental scars.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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