IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best way for students to prepare for their future career. Others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their career through work experience gained in the workplace. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #college #university #students #future #career #school #work #workplace
From my perspective, If you focus on studying at school, you may have a good foundation for your job in the future.
On the other hand
, some
people
 probably build up a
lot
 of
work
 experience if they start to
work
 very soon at a young age. The
first
 aspect that I want to mention is that focusing on studying in a college or university might help you increase your knowledge about your major and your salary after you graduate.
For instance
, In Canada, the minimum wage for
students
 or the ordinary adults who do not have any certificate is $15 per hour;
however
, it is likely the case that the salaries for
students
 who graduated from a college or university range from $23 to $40 per hour.
Therefore
, from my point of view, I might see that studying at school prepares us for a good foundation and the long track for our career.
On the other hand
, It is possible that nowadays the workplace requires the employee who works for them must have a
lot
 of experience. It can happen that some
students
 who just graduate are not eligible because they don't have the practice at
work
;
Therefore
, some
people
 possibly decide to give up at school to have more the real practising experiences.
For example
, Numerous
people
 might become managers at a very young
such
 as 25 years old because they started
work
 at 18 years old, so they had 7 years' experience which is much more than the
students
 who just graduated. To be concluded,
people
 focus to study they may have a
lot
 of choices if they graduate, and they probably gain wages more than the minimum wage.
However
, If you choose to
work
 at a very young age, you might build up a
lot
 of experiences which help you to be successful in your career.
Submitted by di3m7rinhn9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!