Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

During
this
modern world with a rising of technology that it
become
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becomes
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more essential,
also
consume a great amount of time, while so many people
curious
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are curious
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that art and music are still
nessecsary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for the
foundamental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
for human life. In my point of view, even
Correct your spelling
technology
technologay
Correct word choice
though technologay
show examples
become
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of vital part,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
people still appreciate art and music
in
Change preposition
on
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their
Change the word
a
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daily basis.
Moreover
It is
undeninable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that a rising
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology is real while
On the other hand
, In conclusion,
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • cognitive benefits
  • emotional expression
  • mental well-being
  • mindfulness
  • human connection
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • discipline
  • collaboration
  • economic contributions
  • academic performance
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