Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

During
this
modern world with a rising of technology that it
become
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becomes
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more essential,
also
consume a great amount of time, while so many people
curious
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are curious
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that art and music are still
nessecsary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for the
foundamental
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fundamental
for human life. In my point of view, even
Correct your spelling
technology
technologay
Correct word choice
though technologay
show examples
become
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of vital part,
however
Add a comma
,however
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people still appreciate art and music
in
Change preposition
on
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their
Change the word
a
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daily basis.
Moreover
It is
undeninable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that a rising
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology is real while
On the other hand
, In conclusion,
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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