Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

During
this
modern world with a rising of technology that it
become
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becomes
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more essential,
also
consume a great amount of time, while so many people
curious
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are curious
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that art and music are still
nessecsary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for the
foundamental
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fundamental
for human life. In my point of view, even
Correct your spelling
technology
technologay
Correct word choice
though technologay
show examples
become
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of vital part,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
people still appreciate art and music
in
Change preposition
on
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their
Change the word
a
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daily basis.
Moreover
It is
undeninable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that a rising
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology is real while
On the other hand
, In conclusion,
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • cognitive benefits
  • emotional expression
  • mental well-being
  • mindfulness
  • human connection
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • discipline
  • collaboration
  • economic contributions
  • academic performance
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